Have you ever noticed how one small thought can totally change your mood?

You might wake up feeling okay, but then one worry pops into your head, and suddenly everything feels heavier. That one thought leads to another, and before you know it, you’re stressed out, frustrated, or doubting yourself—and nothing even happened yet.

I get it. Our thoughts can take us down a road so fast, it’s like we’re on autopilot. And most of the time, we don’t even realize it’s happening.

It might be something simple, like thinking, “I’m behind,” or “I should be doing more.” And just like that, you’re in a bad mood, your energy drops, and the day feels harder than it needs to.

That used to happen to me a lot. I’d go from feeling fine to feeling like I couldn’t handle everything—and the only thing that changed was what I was thinking.

What I didn’t know back then was how powerful that moment is when a thought first shows up. That tiny split second can either take you down or help you take back control.

We all get caught up in our thoughts sometimes. Whether it’s stress about work, guilt about not doing enough, or fear that we’re messing something up—our brains can be loud and pretty convincing.

And when that happens, it’s so easy to believe every thought is true. But the truth is, most of them are just guesses, habits, or leftover stories our brain repeats.

It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. It just means your brain is doing what it’s used to doing—trying to keep you safe, even when it’s not actually helpful.

So what do you do when your thoughts start to spiral? How do you stop that train before it goes off the rails?

That’s what I want to talk about today. Because learning how to pause, notice what’s going on in your head, and gently shift it can make a huge difference.

You don’t need to fight your thoughts or force yourself to be positive. You just need to know how to slow things down and look at them a little differently.

And once you do, you’ll be amazed at how much calmer, clearer, and more in control you feel.

So if you’ve ever wished your mind would quiet down… or that you could get back to feeling better without making a big deal out of it… keep listening.

How Your Brain Gets Hooked on Negative Thoughts

Here’s something most accountants don’t realize—your brain is naturally wired to focus on what might go wrong.

It’s not trying to ruin your day. It’s just trying to keep you safe.

This is called the brain’s “negativity bias.” It means your brain will always notice the problem before it sees the progress.

So if your day starts with one small issue, your brain will keep scanning for more problems. And once it finds a few, you start to feel like everything is going wrong—even if it’s not.

On top of that, your brain loves to save energy, so it runs on habits and shortcuts.

That means the thoughts you’ve thought before are the ones your brain will keep offering again. Not because they’re true—but because they’re familiar.

This is where something called “cognitive fusion” comes in. It just means your brain tells you a thought, and you believe it without question.

It might be something like, “I’m so behind,” or “I’m not doing enough.” The moment your brain offers that thought, you accept it as fact—even if it’s not.

And when that happens, it affects everything.

You rush through your day, trying to fix a problem that might not even exist. You second-guess yourself. You get stuck trying to feel better by working harder.

That’s how your thoughts can mess with your time, your confidence, and your energy.

But here’s the good news—just because your brain offers a thought doesn’t mean you have to believe it.

The first step is awareness. The moment you notice what your brain is doing, you create space to do something different.

And that’s exactly what the next step in the 4 N Process is all about.

Step One: Notice Your Thoughts

Most of the time, your thoughts are running in the background like a playlist you didn’t even hit “play” on.

You’re busy working, responding to emails, managing your calendar—and your brain is quietly feeding you thoughts all day long.

Thoughts like, “I’ll never catch up,” or “I’m not doing enough,” can slip in without you even realizing it.

And those thoughts don’t just sit there. They affect how you feel, how you act, and even how clearly you can think.

That’s why the first step in shifting your perspective is simply noticing what’s going on in your head.

It can be as easy as saying, “I notice I’m thinking…” and then filling in the blank.

For example, “I notice I’m thinking I’m too far behind.”

Or, “I notice I’m thinking I can’t mess this up.”

You’re not judging the thought or trying to push it away—you’re just noticing it.

That little pause gives you space. It’s like turning the lights on in a room you’ve been walking through in the dark.

You can’t change something you don’t even realize is there. But once you see the thought, you can begin to understand what it’s doing.

And from there, you can take the next step—one that helps you stop blaming yourself for the thought and start understanding it instead.

Step Two – Normalize What You’re Thinking

Once you’ve noticed a thought, the next step is to remind yourself—it makes sense that you’re thinking that way.

Your brain isn’t trying to be mean. It’s just doing what it’s wired to do: protect you, avoid anything uncomfortable, and stick with what it already knows.

If you’ve spent years being hard on yourself or feeling like everything has to be perfect, your brain will offer thoughts that match that pattern.

This is where you ask, “Why would I be thinking this?”

That question can shift everything.

You might realize, “Because I care about doing a good job.” Or, “Because I’ve always been hard on myself before deadlines.”

When you answer that question with honesty and kindness, something really important happens—you stop beating yourself up for the thought.

You start to see the thought as something that makes sense, not something that means you’re broken or doing something wrong.

And when the pressure is off, it’s easier to stay calm and look at things more clearly.

That’s when you’re ready to take the next step—to figure out what’s true and what’s just your brain telling stories.

Step Three – Neutralize the Thought

Now that you’ve noticed the thought and given yourself some grace, it’s time to bring in a little logic.

This step is all about separating what’s real from what your brain is saying is real.

You can do that by asking two simple questions: “What are the facts?” and “What is my interpretation of those facts?”

For example, the fact might be: “I have five returns due this week.”

But your brain might be saying: “There’s no way I’ll get it all done.”

See the difference?

One is a neutral statement. The other is your brain jumping to conclusions and adding pressure.

Your brain loves to fill in the blanks with worst-case scenarios. That’s just what it does when it feels overwhelmed.

But when you slow down and name the actual facts, things feel less dramatic and more manageable.

You stop spiraling, and you start seeing the truth.

And once you’re grounded in what’s actually happening, it becomes a whole lot easier to figure out what to do next.

Step Four – Choose the Next Best Thought or Action

Now that you’ve seen the thought, understood it, and looked at the facts, you’re ready for the final step—choosing what to do or think next.

This isn’t about pretending everything’s great or forcing yourself to be super positive. It’s about finding something just a little better.

You can ask yourself, “What’s a slightly better thought I can believe?” or “What’s one small action I can take next?”

Maybe the thought becomes, “One thing at a time. I can start with what’s most important.”

Or maybe you take one simple action, like looking at your to-do list and picking the easiest task to get the ball rolling.

The goal isn’t perfection—it’s progress. A small shift can pull you out of that stuck feeling and give you a sense of control again.

When you make a choice, whether it’s a new thought or a next step, you’re no longer reacting—you’re leading.

And that’s exactly what one of my clients experienced when she used this process in a tough moment. Let me share what happened.

Becoming a Smarter Accountant: Using The 4 N Process Successfully

One of my coaching clients had recently been promoted to a manager role at her firm, and from the outside, it looked like everything was going great.

But inside, she was struggling.

She kept thinking, “I’m not as good as everyone else. They made a mistake promoting me.”

Even though no one had said anything negative, her brain kept offering her every reason she didn’t belong in the role.

Because of those thoughts, she started overworking to “prove” herself. She stayed late, avoided asking for help, and second-guessed nearly every decision she made.

When we started using the 4 N Process in our sessions, things began to shift.

She started by simply noticing the thought: “I notice I’m thinking I don’t belong here.” That helped her step outside of the spiral just enough to see it for what it was—a thought, not a fact.

Then she normalized it: “Of course I’d be thinking this. This is a big new role, and I’ve always been hard on myself when I’m learning something new.”

That one step alone gave her a huge sense of relief.

Next, she neutralized the thought by listing out the actual facts:

• She had consistently strong performance reviews
  
• She had been asked to take the role, not forced to
  
• No one had said anything to suggest she didn’t belong
  

With those facts in front of her, she was able to shift to a next best thought: “It makes sense that this feels new and uncomfortable, but I can ask for support while I grow into this role.”

She also chose one small action—talking to another manager about how they handled the transition when they were first promoted.

That one conversation made her feel more supported and a little less alone.

Over time, she stopped overworking out of fear, and her confidence grew—not because her circumstances changed, but because her thoughts did.

And the best part? No one else had to do anything differently for her to feel better.

Now I’m going to share the key takeaway from today and an action item for the upcoming week.

Key Takeaway and Action Item

The biggest takeaway from this episode is this: you don’t have to believe everything your brain tells you.

When you use the 4 N Process—Notice, Normalize, Neutralize, and Next—you give yourself a way to pause, check in, and shift out of a thought that isn’t helping you.

You’re not ignoring your thoughts or pretending everything’s fine. You’re simply learning how to guide your mind instead of letting it run the show.

And the more you practice this, the easier it gets.

Here’s a powerful question to ask yourself the next time you’re feeling stuck, stressed, or overwhelmed:

“What thought am I believing right now—and how would it feel to walk it through the 4 N Process?”

This question works because it invites you to slow down and get curious instead of getting swept up in the spiral.

Give it a try this week. You might be surprised how quickly things start to feel lighter and more manageable—just by shifting how you think.

Pulling Back the Curtain

Let me pull back the curtain and tell you something personal—this 4 N Process was exactly what I didn’t know I needed.  When I heard one of my mentors teaching it, I knew she was onto something. 

I remember a time when one unexpected email could send me into a spiral. I’d be working on something important, but then my brain would latch onto a single thought like, “You forgot something,” or “This isn’t good enough.” 

And just like that, my entire mood would shift. The work didn’t change. The deadline didn’t change. But my thinking did—and that changed everything.

I used to think I just needed to push through it. Power through the doubt. Prove I could handle it. But that only left me feeling more drained and frustrated. Eventually, I realized that the problem wasn’t my work. It was the way my brain reacted to it.

That’s when I happened to hear one of my mentors teaching the 4 N Process. And I’ll be honest—it took time. 

At first, just noticing my thoughts felt like a big win. But once I learned how to normalize them, take the drama out of them, and choose the next best thought or action—I finally started to feel like I had some control over my day again.

Now, whenever my brain throws me an unhelpful thought, I don’t fight it. I walk it through the process. And 9 times out of 10, I feel calmer and more capable just a few minutes later.

I like to think of the 4 N Process as a tool in my toolkit that I get to use whenever I really need it.  Sometimes I forget it’s there, but when I do, it has helped me put so many things into perspective in a more helpful way.

Even just dealing with my cancer diagnosis – the 4 N Process has been a lifeline helping me to become aware of the unhelpful thoughts, normalizing them, neutralizing them, and then deciding on the next best thought.

I promise, if this can work with something like a health diagnosis, it can work on anything you’re struggling with.

If this episode hit home for you, I want you to know: you don’t have to figure it all out alone. You can schedule a free 30-minute call with me at www.thesmarteraccountant.com/calendar. We’ll talk about what your brain might be doing on autopilot and how to start shifting it in a more helpful direction.

And if you haven’t already taken The Smarter Accountant Quiz, now is the perfect time. Go to www.thesmarteraccountant.com and take the quiz—it’ll show you where your accountant brain might be underutilized and how to start working with it instead of against it.

Lastly, if this episode helped you, please take a moment to share it with another accountant. So many accountants are silently struggling with stress and overthinking—and one episode might be the nudge they didn’t know they needed. Let’s change the narrative in our profession, one smarter accountant at a time.

The truth is that you’re already smart.  But this podcast, I promise, will show you how to be smarter.