Before I get started, let me just mention that this month’s Smarter Accountant CPE course is The Smarter Accountant Guide to Effective Time Blocking,  The truth is that time blocking isn’t just about putting tasks on a calendar—it’s about making better decisions with your time, your brain, and your energy. In this practical and eye-opening course, you’ll learn a brain-based approach to time management that goes far beyond traditional to-do lists.

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This session will introduce you to the Smarter Accountant Time Blocking Method—an effective method whether you’re dealing busy season or not. You’ll walk away with a repeatable method that helps you get more done in less time, with less stress.

The course is offered Tuesday, August 19th at 12 pm EST and you can register at www.thesmarteraccountant.com/cpe

Let’s talk about something that takes up way too much space in our heads—what other people think about us. It’s easy to get caught up in trying to explain, defend, or correct someone’s opinion, especially when it feels unfair or flat-out wrong.

You do your best, work hard, and try to be a good person, but that doesn’t stop people from making assumptions. Maybe a coworker thinks you don’t care enough, or a client assumes you’re too expensive, or a family member misjudges a decision you made.

It can be frustrating. You want to grab a whiteboard, lay out all the facts, and make them see things your way.

But what if that’s not your job? What if you didn’t have to spend so much time proving yourself or making sure everyone sees you the way you want to be seen?

That might sound impossible. After all, no one wants to be misunderstood. It feels uncomfortable, almost like something is unfinished.

But here’s the thing—no matter how much you explain, defend, or overthink, people will believe what they want to believe. Their opinions are shaped by their own experiences, not just by what you say or do.

That’s where the real problem starts. The more you try to control how others see you, the more you give away your time, energy, and peace of mind.

It’s exhausting. And, honestly, it never really works. Even if you manage to change one person’s mind, someone else will come along with their own opinion, and the cycle starts all over again.

So, what would happen if you let people be wrong about you? What if you let go of the need to correct every misunderstanding and focused on something better?

That’s what we’re going to talk about today. Because the freedom that comes with not needing to prove yourself is something worth thinking about.

Why Accountants Struggle With Caring What Others Think

As accountants, we are used to dealing with facts. Numbers don’t lie, and there’s usually a right and wrong answer. If something doesn’t add up, we can track it down, fix it, and make sure everything checks out. It makes sense that we’d want people to see us the right way too.

But people don’t work like numbers. No matter how clear we think something is, they bring their own thoughts, experiences, and biases into every situation. And when someone questions our work ethic, doubts our skills, or assumes something about us that isn’t true, it stings. We know how much effort we put in, and it feels unfair to be misunderstood.

That’s when the over-explaining starts. You find yourself wanting to defend your choices, prove your worth, or convince someone that they’ve got it wrong. Maybe you take on extra work just to show how committed you are. Maybe you replay conversations in your head, wondering if you should have said something differently. Maybe you spend time crafting the perfect response to an email that doesn’t even deserve one.

It’s exhausting. And no matter how much you try to set the record straight, people still see things through their own lens. Even if you manage to change one person’s mind, someone else will come along with their own opinion, and the cycle starts all over again.

And here’s what makes it even harder—when people misunderstand us, it doesn’t just feel frustrating. It feels personal. We want to believe that if we just explain things well enough, or work hard enough, or show up in exactly the right way, people will get it.

But here’s the thing—you don’t actually control what people think. You never have. And every second you spend trying? That’s energy you never get back.

So why does your brain make this so hard to let go of? Let’s talk about that next.

The Brain Science Behind Why You Care What Others Think

Whether you realize it or not, our brains are wired to care what people think. Back when humans lived in caves, being part of a tribe wasn’t just nice—it was survival. If you were misunderstood or left out, it could mean real danger. So your brain learned to keep an eye on what others thought about you.

Even though life is completely different now, that old wiring is still there. Your brain hasn’t evolved to know the difference between real danger and something that just feels like danger. So when someone doubts you, questions your decisions, or assumes something that isn’t true, your brain reacts as if it’s a threat—even though it’s not.

That’s why it gets to you. It’s not just annoying—it feels wrong, like something that needs to be fixed. It’s that voice in your head saying, “If they just understood me, I wouldn’t feel this way.” Like if you explained it better, showed them more proof, or worked just a little harder, they’d finally get it.

And that’s where the trap is. The harder you try to control how others see you, the more power you give away. You make their opinion more important than your peace of mind. You start adjusting your choices, your words, maybe even your confidence—just to avoid feeling misunderstood.

But here’s the tricky part. No matter how much explaining, proving, or defending you do, people will still see things through their own experiences, beliefs, and assumptions. Their opinions aren’t based only on what you say or do—they come from them. Their past, their perspective, their own internal stories.

Trying to change that is like trying to stop the wind. You push, you fight… but it keeps blowing. And the more you fight it, the more exhausted you get.

So what if you just let go? What if you accepted that people will think whatever they want and that’s okay? Imagine how much lighter that would feel.

Because here’s the truth—fighting it isn’t the answer. But there is a better way. Let’s talk about that next.

How To Stop Wasting Time and Energy on Other People’s Opinions

Instead of spending your time trying to fix what other people think, focus on what you believe about yourself. Their opinions will come and go, but the way you see yourself is what really matters. Because at the end of the day, you’re the one who has to live with your choices—not them.

It’s easy to think, “If they just understood me, I’d feel better.” But would you? What would actually change? Would your work be any different? Would your life improve in some way?

Most of the time, the answer is no. You’d still be doing the same work, making the same decisions, and living the same life. The only difference would be that they finally see it the way you want them to. But even if they do, someone else will come along with their own opinion, and the cycle starts all over again.

That’s why chasing approval is exhausting—it never ends. There will always be someone who misjudges you, someone who doesn’t appreciate your effort, someone who assumes things without knowing the full story. And if you keep spending your energy trying to change their minds, you’ll never have time for the things that actually matter.

Real freedom? It’s not about getting people to see you the right way. It’s about realizing their opinions don’t get to run your life.

Ask yourself, “Why do I need them to see me differently? Why does this feel so important?” If someone misunderstands you, it doesn’t actually change anything about who you are. It only changes their perception, which isn’t something you can control anyway.

And here’s what happens when you stop trying to manage other people’s opinions—you get back something priceless.

You get back your time—the time you used to spend over-explaining, overthinking, and overworking to prove yourself.

You get back your confidence—because instead of letting other people’s opinions shake you, you start trusting yourself again.

You get back your peace of mind—because the weight of what other people think? It’s finally gone.

You stop second-guessing yourself. You stop wasting energy explaining things that don’t need explaining. You stop carrying the weight of what other people think.

And the best part? You realize you never needed their approval in the first place.

I’ve seen this happen firsthand, so let me share a story with you.

Becoming a Smarter Accountant: Letting People Be Wrong About Her

One of my clients was stuck in a pattern that felt impossible to break. No matter how hard she worked, she felt like she had to prove herself every single day.

Her boss was the kind of person who always had something to say. If she left the office at a reasonable time, he’d make a comment about how “some people just don’t put in the extra effort.” If she spoke up in a meeting, he’d question her reasoning. If she didn’t, he’d say she wasn’t engaged enough.

She couldn’t win. So she tried harder.

She over-explained every decision, hoping he’d finally see that she knew what she was doing. She answered emails late at night, thinking it would show her dedication. She worked through lunch, through exhaustion, through weekends, just to prove that she was committed.

But no matter what she did, his opinion didn’t change.

One day, she told me, “I don’t know what else to do. I feel like I have to keep proving myself, but it’s never enough.”

That’s when we started looking at the real problem. It wasn’t her work. It wasn’t even her boss. It was the belief that his opinion was more important than her own.

So she stopped chasing it.

She focused on doing her job well—not on getting him to see it. She stopped over-explaining. She stopped defending every decision. She started leaving work at a time that made sense for her, without guilt.

At first, she was sure it would backfire. But something unexpected happened.

She felt more confident. She felt more respected. And, without saying a word, her boss actually started treating her differently.

He still had his own opinions, but they didn’t weigh on her anymore. She wasn’t drained from trying to control something she never could. And for the first time in years, she felt in control of her time, her energy, and her career.

So what if you did the same? What would happen if you stopped trying to change someone’s mind and trusted yourself instead?

These are great questions to consider as I wrap this up with the biggest takeaway from today’s episode—and another question for you to think about.

Key Takeaway and Action Item

The key takeaway from this episode is that true freedom isn’t about making sure everyone understands you. It’s about realizing that you don’t have to control what others think about you.

Just think about it: How much energy could you get back if you stopped trying to change other people’s opinions? 

So for this week, ask yourself, “What would my life feel like if I let go of the need to explain, defend, or prove myself?”

People will always have opinions. Some will be accurate, some won’t. You can spend your time trying to change them, or you can decide that their opinions don’t define you.

Your peace doesn’t come from getting them to see you the right way. It comes from trusting yourself.

Pulling Back the Curtain

Before I end, I want to pull back the curtain for a moment…

I can totally relate to this episode because I used to spend so much time trying to prove I was a “good” accountant. Not just good at the work—but good to clients, good to coworkers, good to bosses, good to everyone.

I still remember one time when someone at work assumed I wasn’t pulling my weight because I left at 5:30. They would make sarcastic comments like, “Working half a day?”

Never mind that I’d been working since before 8 a.m., skipped lunch to meet deadlines, and got more done in an 8 hour day than they did—that one assumption stuck with me. And instead of letting it go, I tried to fix it.

I tried to figure out ways to stay later. I answered emails at night. I took on more. And you know what? It didn’t change how they saw me. But it did change how I saw myself—I started questioning whether I was doing enough, even though deep down, I knew I was.

That was the turning point for me—realizing that no amount of overworking or explaining was ever going to control what other people believed. And that I didn’t have to waste my peace of mind trying.

I learned that what anyone else thinks about me has more to do with them than with me.  For example, if one of my sister-in-laws rolled her eyes when I shared something I was proud of, her reaction had nothing to do with me and had everything to do with her insecurities.

The bottom line is that although it’s human nature to want people to like us and agree with us, it’s way more important that we like and agree with ourselves.

As I’ve worked on building my self-confidence over the years, it’s so much easier for me to let people be wrong about me.  I now get a kick out of it when it happens because it’s so interesting to see how other people’s brains work.

If this episode spoke to you—if you’ve been carrying the weight of what someone else thinks—it might be time to take a look at what’s really driving you.

That’s why I created The Smarter Accountant Quiz. It’s quick, it’s free, and it’ll help you see what’s actually getting in your way. You can find it at https://thesmarteraccountant.com.

And if you want help with anything you’re struggling with or figuring out what to do next, I offer a free 30-minute call. You can sign up at https://thesmarteraccountant.com/calendar.

And one last thing—if you’ve been enjoying this podcast, the best way you can support it is by sharing it with other accountants. Whether it’s a friend, a coworker, or someone who’s quietly struggling the way you once were, spreading the word helps more accountants discover there’s a smarter way to work.

The truth is that you’re already smart, but this podcast will show you how to be smarter.