5 Ways to Build Confidence Without Changing Anything Around You
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Have you ever noticed how some people just seem naturally confident, no matter what’s going on around them? They walk into a room, say what they think, and don’t seem to worry so much about what other people think.
If you’ve ever wished you could feel that way too, you’re definitely not alone. Most of us have moments where we feel unsure, nervous, or like we’re not good enough.
It’s easy to think that confidence comes from outside things—like getting a promotion, having more experience, having certain letters after your last name, or finally getting everything in your life in order. But the truth is, confidence isn’t something that shows up when things are perfect.
For a lot of people, confidence feels like something you have to wait for. You might think, “Once I fix this part of my life, then I’ll feel more confident.”
But what if that’s not true? What if nothing around you actually has to change for you to feel more sure of yourself?
That idea can feel kind of strange at first. We’re so used to believing that our confidence depends on things outside of us—like how people treat us or what we’ve accomplished.
But what if confidence is more like a feeling you can create, not something you have to wait for?
Think about how much time and energy we spend trying to earn confidence. We try to be perfect, to do everything right, or to keep up with what everyone else is doing.
It can feel exhausting. And sometimes, even after all that effort, we still don’t feel any better about ourselves.
Unfortunately, confidence starts to feel like a moving target. And no matter what we do, it feels just out of reach.
That’s why this is so important to talk about. Because real, lasting confidence doesn’t come from fixing everything around you—it comes from changing the way you see yourself.
And once you understand that, everything gets a little bit easier. You stop chasing and start choosing how you want to show up.
The truth is, you don’t have to wait for the right time, the right title, or the right feedback. You can start building confidence from where you are, right now.
So if you’ve been hoping to feel more confident but didn’t know where to start, keep listening. You might be closer than you think.
Why Confidence Feels So Hard to Hold Onto
Most accountants were never taught how to feel confident without needing outside proof. It’s no surprise—our work is often judged, reviewed, or second-guessed by others. So it makes sense that many of us start tying our confidence to the results we deliver or the praise we receive.
The problem is, that kind of confidence isn’t very steady. It goes up and down depending on who’s in the room, how perfect the work is, or whether something went wrong that day.
Over time, this makes confidence feel like something you have to earn over and over again. And when you make a mistake—or even think you made one—it can feel like you’ve lost it completely.
That’s why so many accountants walk around feeling unsure, even when they’re smart, capable, and hardworking. It’s why so many quietly struggle with imposter syndrome. They’re depending on something outside of themselves to feel good inside.
This creates a cycle where you’re always looking for reassurance or comparing yourself to others. You start second-guessing your decisions, staying quiet when you have something to say, or working twice as hard just to feel “good enough.”
It’s a stressful way to live—and it’s definitely not sustainable. But it’s not your fault.
It’s just the way our brains try to protect us. They want certainty, safety, and approval. But when you rely on those things to feel confident, you’re putting your self-worth in someone else’s hands.
That’s why the answer isn’t about fixing your workload or waiting for more recognition. The real problem runs deeper—and it’s affecting your confidence more than you might realize.
Let’s take a closer look at why this is such a big deal.
The Real Cost of Chasing Confidence the Wrong Way
When you believe confidence comes from outside things—like praise, promotions, or other people’s opinions—you give up control without even realizing it. You start waiting to feel good about yourself instead of learning how to feel good on purpose.
This leaves you stuck in a cycle of “I’ll feel confident when…” Maybe it’s when the project is perfect, the client is happy, or your inbox is finally cleared. But that finish line keeps moving.
You wind up working longer hours, putting more pressure on yourself, and doubting your every move. And even when something does go well, the feeling doesn’t last.
It’s a problem because it never feels like enough. No matter how much you accomplish, there’s always another thing to prove, another person to please, or another mistake to avoid.
That kind of pressure leads to stress, burnout, and a quiet fear that you’re not measuring up. You might keep pushing forward, but deep down, it feels exhausting.
And when confidence is tied to everything going perfectly, you’re much less likely to take risks, speak up, or try something new. It’s safer to play small—even when you know you’re capable of more.
This also makes it harder to bounce back after setbacks. One tough day or one piece of negative feedback can spiral into self-doubt that lasts much longer than it should.
The truth is, the way most people chase confidence actually creates more insecurity. It’s like trying to fill a leaky bucket—no matter how much you pour in, it keeps running out.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
There’s a smarter, steadier way to feel confident—and it starts with understanding the brain science behind confidence.
The Brain Science Behind Confidence
Let’s talk about what’s really going on in your brain when confidence feels hard to come by.
As I’ve discussed on the podcast, your brain’s main job is to keep you safe. It’s constantly scanning for anything that could feel risky, uncertain, or uncomfortable. And because of that, your brain would always rather you stay the same than try something new—even if the “new” thing is speaking up, making a decision, or simply believing in yourself.
In fact, confidence feels like a risk to your brain. It’s tied to things like visibility, failure, rejection, or being wrong. So your lower Toddler brain tries to protect you by pulling you back into thoughts like, “You’re not ready,” “What if they don’t like it?” or “Play it safe.”
This is totally normal. Your brain isn’t trying to hurt you—it’s trying to avoid pain, embarrassment, or mistakes. But what’s helpful for survival isn’t always helpful for success.
There’s also something else going on. Your brain has something called the negativity bias. It means you’re more likely to focus on what went wrong, what could go wrong, or what people might think—rather than noticing what you’ve done well or what’s already working.
That’s why confidence doesn’t come naturally for most people. It’s not because you’re not good enough. It’s because your brain has been trained to see the problems, not the progress.
But here’s the good news: your brain is also very changeable and can be easily rewired. The truth is, it learns by repetition.
So if you practice thinking in ways that support confidence, your brain will slowly start to believe you, building neural pathways that create the feeling of confidence without changing anything around you.
And the more you practice building confidence on purpose, the less your lower brain gets to run the show.
So how do you actually do that in a simple, doable way?
That’s what I want to discuss next: Five Smarter Accountant ways to build confidence—without needing to change anything around you.
5 Ways to Build Confidence Without Changing Anything Around You
Now that you know your brain is wired to play it safe and focus on what’s wrong, it makes sense why confidence doesn’t always feel natural. But that doesn’t mean you’re stuck.
You don’t need to wait for better circumstances, more praise, or a perfect moment to start feeling more confident. Here are five ways you can build it—right where you are, with what you already have:
1. Watch How You Talk to Yourself
Most of us say things to ourselves that we would never say to anyone else. Things like “I’m terrible at this,” “I should’ve done better,” or “Why can’t I get it together?”
But that inner voice matters more than you might think. Your brain listens to what you say—even inside your own head—and starts to believe it.
The way you talk to yourself either builds you up or slowly tears you down. If you want more confidence, it starts by speaking to yourself with more kindness and less criticism.
2. Stop Waiting for Perfect
Confidence doesn’t come from getting it all right. It comes from taking action—even when things feel messy or uncertain.
It’s okay to feel uncomfortable or unsure, because the more you do, the more you prove to yourself that you can figure things out. That’s where real confidence comes from—not perfection, but progress.
Trying to get everything “just right” before you act only delays the confidence you’re hoping to feel.
3. Give Yourself Credit on Purpose
Your brain naturally zooms in on what didn’t go well. That’s just its way of trying to protect you from making mistakes.
But if you want to feel more confident, you have to train your brain to also see what did go well.
For example, did you finish a task you’d been avoiding? Speak up in a meeting? Stay calm when things were stressful? Those wins matter. Even the small ones.
Confidence grows when you give yourself credit—on purpose.
4. Make Decisions and Have Your Own Back
Confident people don’t always make the right decision—they just decide and move forward.
They don’t tear themselves apart afterward. They learn, they adjust, and they keep going.
You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to stop beating yourself up after every choice.
Confidence comes from trusting yourself to handle whatever happens next.
5. Stop Comparing Yourself to Everyone Around You
When you compare yourself to others, you’re usually comparing your struggles to their highlight reel.
In other words, you don’t see their doubts, their messy middle, or the full story.
Instead of measuring yourself against everyone else, bring your focus back to your own growth.
Ask: “Am I growing in the ways that matter to me?” That’s a much better question—and it builds a much stronger kind of confidence.
The bottom line is that you can build confidence no matter what you do or don’t know, or what your past looks like.
Next, let’s look at how one of my coaching clients used these exact shifts to go from self-doubt to solid, grounded confidence—without changing anything around her.
Becoming a Smarter Accountant: Building Confidence Without Changing Anything Around Her
One of my clients came to me feeling completely drained. On the outside, everything looked fine—steady job in public accounting, positive feedback from clients, and all the boxes checked. But inside, there was a constant feeling of doubt.
She told me, “No matter how well things go, I still don’t feel confident.” She was second-guessing emails, replaying conversations, and quietly comparing herself to others in the firm who seemed more polished or in control.
What she really believed was that confidence would come once something changed—maybe a new title, fewer mistakes, or finally feeling like everything was under control. But none of those things ever seemed to be enough.
What we discovered together was that the problem wasn’t the job or the people around her—it was the way she was thinking about herself. Her brain was filtering everything through a lens of “not good enough,” even when she was doing an amazing job.
So we started there. She began paying closer attention to how she was talking to herself throughout the day. Instead of letting the critical voice run the show, she started asking, “Would I talk to someone else like this?”
We also made it a habit to notice wins—on purpose. At the end of each day, she wrote down just a few things that went well. It felt small, but it helped train her brain to stop only looking for what was wrong.
Little by little, things started to shift. She made decisions faster, stopped rereading emails over and over, and let go of the need to compare herself to everyone else.
She didn’t get a raise or a new job title. The team didn’t change. The workload didn’t shrink.
But she started to feel steady. She started to feel sure. She started to feel confident.
And that’s the part that really matters—knowing that confidence isn’t something you have to chase. It’s something you can build, even when nothing around you changes.
Okay, now let’s wrap up with a few key takeaways.
Key Takeaway and Action Item
Confidence doesn’t come from being perfect, getting constant praise, or finally having everything figured out. It comes from the way you talk to yourself, the thoughts you choose to believe, and the actions you take—even when things feel uncertain.
You don’t have to wait for things around you to change in order to feel more confident. In fact, the most powerful kind of confidence is the kind you create from the inside out.
When you speak to yourself with more kindness, take action instead of chasing perfection, give yourself credit on purpose, make decisions and trust yourself to handle the outcome, and stop comparing your journey to someone else’s—you start showing up differently.
You begin to feel more grounded, more sure, and more like yourself—without needing everything else to fall into place first.
If you want to apply what you learned today, here’s one simple question to ask yourself:
“What would I do differently today if I already felt confident?”
You might be surprised by the answer. And you might realize—you don’t have to wait to feel confident. You can begin acting like someone who already is.
Okay, as I finish up, let me pull back the curtain and share a personal story of how I can relate to this topic.
Pulling Back the Curtain
Now let me pull back the curtain…
There was a time in my career when I thought confidence would just “click” once I hit a certain milestone. I figured once I got enough experience, once I stopped making mistakes, or once someone important finally noticed my work, I’d feel the way I wanted to feel—confident, steady, sure of myself.
But even after the promotions, and the praise, that feeling didn’t come. I still second-guessed myself.
In fact, when I worked for Ernst and Young, back in the day, I had the office, the secretary and the parking spot, but I still felt like maybe I was just lucky.
I’d get something done and immediately move on to the next thing without even acknowledging it. I didn’t realize I was skipping right over the part where confidence could grow.
What finally shifted everything for me wasn’t anything outside of me. It was noticing how harsh I was being in my own head. I would never talk to anyone else the way I talked to myself.
I remember thinking, “Would I say any of these harsh things to a friend or to my children?” Of course not! Well, once I saw that, I knew something had to change.
That’s when I started doing the same things I now teach my clients. I started catching those old, unhelpful thoughts.
I gave myself credit for showing up, even on the hard days. I practiced having my own back, even when I made a mistake. And I stopped looking at everyone else to figure out if I was “doing enough.”
The truth is, confidence didn’t show up overnight, but it did show up. And it’s a whole lot steadier now—not because everything in my life is perfect, but because I finally stopped waiting for the outside world to give me permission to feel good about myself.
So, if this episode spoke to you, I really encourage you to take The Smarter Accountant Quiz. It’s a great way to find out if you’ve been underusing your accountant brain—and what to do about it because if you struggle with confidence, you ARE underutilizing your accountant brain. You can take it at www.thesmarteraccountant.com.
And if you’re ready to start building real confidence and want some support, I’d love to talk with you during a free 30-minute call. Go to www.thesmarteraccountant.com/calendar to schedule a time that works for you.
I promise you, confidence is something you can build—and it starts with how you treat yourself. You’re more capable than you think.
And as always, if you found this episode helpful, share it with another accountant. You never know who needs to hear this.
The truth is, you’re already smart. But this podcast will show you how to be smarter.