Before we get into this week’s episode, I just want to take a moment to welcome any listeners who used to follow me on the CPA MOMS Podcast. After 6 ½ years of hosting that podcast, I was recently let go—which means I now get to focus fully on The Smarter Accountant Podcast. If you’ve been listening to me for a while, I want to reassure you that the same helpful, practical, and honest content you’ve come to expect will absolutely continue here.

And if you’re new to the podcast—welcome! There are over 100 episodes waiting for you, all designed to help you become a smarter, more confident accountant. You can binge, browse, or start wherever you like.

Also, just a quick heads-up: I host a Monthly Group Coaching Program for accountants. We meet on the third Friday of every month at 12 pm EST, and it’s a great space to get support, grow, and connect with others who get what you’re going through. Next month’s topic is Effective Planning, and you’re definitely going to want to check it out.

If you want more details, just email me at dawn@thesmarteraccountant.com. I’d love to have you in the group!

Alright, let’s get into the episode…

Have you ever found yourself feeling uneasy when something good happens? Maybe you nailed a project, got great feedback from a client, or finally took a moment to breathe—and instead of feeling happy, you started worrying about what might go wrong next.

It’s like your brain just can’t let you enjoy the moment. You might not even realize it’s happening because it feels so normal, especially when you’re used to constantly looking for what needs fixing or what’s coming up next. But what if that habit of staying on alert is actually stealing some of your joy?

What if you didn’t have to second-guess your happiness? Imagine celebrating your wins without worrying about what’s coming next.

The truth is, this way of thinking might be doing more harm than you realize. It’s not just about missing out on joy—it could also be adding unnecessary stress to your life and work.

Today I want to talk about a topic that you may have never heard of – foreboding joy – especially as it applies to us as accountants.  

I want to dig into why this happens and how it might be getting in your way. If you’ve ever felt like happiness comes with strings attached, you’re not alone—and we’re going to talk about why it doesn’t have to be that way.

It’s time to give yourself permission to enjoy the good moments—you’ve earned them.

The Concept of “Foreboding Joy”

Have you ever felt really happy about something, only to have this little voice in your head say, “Don’t get too comfortable”? That’s what foreboding joy is—it’s when feeling good makes you nervous, like happiness is a setup for something bad to happen. Instead of enjoying your success, your brain starts playing the ‘what if’ game, stealing the joy from the moment.

This happens a lot to people who are always thinking ahead, like us as accountants. Our job trains us to look for risks, double-check details, and spot mistakes before they cause problems. 

That’s a great skill for work, but it can sneak into other parts of life where it doesn’t really belong. Even when nothing is wrong, your brain might act like there’s trouble just around the corner.

The tricky thing about foreboding joy is how it steals the good moments without you even realizing it. Imagine finishing a big project you worked hard on. Instead of feeling proud or relieved, your brain might say, “What if I missed something?” or “What’s the next problem I need to fix?” That tiny bit of fear can take over, and suddenly, the joy is gone.

Over time, this habit can take a toll. When you’re always bracing for the worst, your stress levels stay high. 

The truth is, it’s exhausting, and it can make everything feel heavier than it needs to be. You might feel like you’re running a never-ending race, constantly pushing forward but never stopping to celebrate the milestones you’ve already hit.

And it doesn’t just affect how you feel about your work. It can creep into your personal life, too. 

Maybe you find it hard to relax, even on vacation, because you’re worried about what’s waiting for you when you get back. Or maybe you shrug off big wins—like landing a new client or getting great feedback—because you’re already thinking about the next challenge.

The problem is, this constant cycle of worry doesn’t actually protect you from anything. All it does is rob you of the chance to enjoy the good stuff you’ve worked so hard for. And when that stress builds up over time, it can lead to burnout, making it even harder to feel good about your work and your life.

But here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be this way. You don’t have to let fear of what might go wrong take away from what’s going right. Let’s take a closer look at why this happens and what it means for you.

The Brain Science Behind Foreboding Joy

Have you ever wondered why it’s so hard to just enjoy the good moments? It’s not that there’s something wrong with you—it’s just how your brain works. Our brains are wired for survival, not happiness. 

Back when survival meant avoiding wild animals or other dangers, this wiring was super helpful. But now, it can get in the way, especially when you’re trying to feel happy or relaxed.

It’s important to understand that your primitive brain, the part I refer to as the Toddler, is always on the lookout for threats. Think of it as your brain’s alarm system. 

The problem is, it doesn’t always know the difference between a real danger and something harmless, like feeling really happy. Even during joyful moments, your Toddler brain might hit the panic button, making you feel uneasy, like you need to protect yourself.

Here’s where it gets tricky. The brain sometimes connects joy with vulnerability, like letting your guard down might be risky. 

For accountants, this might show up as thoughts like, “If I get too comfortable, I might miss something,” or “What if I make a mistake and everything falls apart?” It’s as if your brain is trying to keep you safe by reminding you not to relax too much.

This is especially true in the accounting world, where so much of our job is about being precise and catching errors. We’re trained to think ahead, double-check everything, and avoid risks at all costs. 

That’s an amazing skill, but it can also make our accountant brain hyper-focused on what might go wrong, even when everything is going right.

Think about how often you scan for problems, even in moments where there aren’t any. It’s like your brain is stuck in work mode, always looking for the next issue to solve. 

This makes it even harder to trust happy moments because your mind is already on high alert, waiting for something to go wrong.

The good news is, this doesn’t mean you’re doomed to feel this way forever. Once you understand how your brain works, you can start to see that those uneasy feelings aren’t warnings—they’re just habits your brain has picked up over time. And like any habit, it’s possible to change it.

Understanding how your brain works is the first step to breaking free from this cycle, but it’s also important to look at how this habit shows up in your day-to-day life. Let’s look at some real-life examples of foreboding joy and how it might be holding you back.

Examples of Foreboding Joy in the Accounting World

Have you ever wrapped up a massive tax return ahead of the deadline, only to feel a wave of worry instead of relief? Maybe your brain starts spinning with thoughts like, “What if I missed a deduction?” or “Did I file the right form?” Instead of celebrating the win, you’re stuck double-guessing your own work.

Or how about when you’re preparing for an important client meeting? You finish all the prep and feel ready, but then the doubts creep in: “What if they ask a question I didn’t think of?” or “What if they aren’t happy with my recommendations?” It’s like your brain won’t let you trust that you’re prepared.

Then there’s the annual review. You get glowing feedback from your boss, and instead of feeling proud, you start thinking, “What if I can’t meet their expectations next year?” It’s like you can’t let yourself enjoy the moment because your brain is already looking for the next challenge—or the next thing to worry about.

Even after delivering spotless financial statements to a client, you might catch yourself holding your breath, wondering, “What if they find something I missed?” You’ve triple-checked everything, but it doesn’t stop that uneasy feeling from creeping in.

These moments happen all the time in a profession where precision and problem-solving are key. But when your brain is constantly focused on what could go wrong, it’s easy to miss out on what’s going right.

I’ve actually spoken to many of my coaching clients about this subject and how foreboding joy shows up in their lives, but now I want to talk about what this pattern might be costing you in the long run.

The Cost of Foreboding Joy

Foreboding joy doesn’t just take the fun out of happy moments—it can sneak into every corner of your life. Have you ever been with your family, but your mind was somewhere else, stuck on work? 

Maybe you’re at your kid’s soccer game or celebrating a birthday, but you can’t fully enjoy it because you’re worrying about deadlines or the emails piling up. It’s like your brain has a hard time letting you enjoy the peace and keeps dragging you back to work worries.

Even when you do take a break, do you ever feel guilty about it? Like you should be doing more, even if you’ve been working nonstop? That constant feeling of “not doing enough” can turn downtime into just another source of stress, instead of the recharge time you really need.

At work, the cost of foreboding joy can add up fast. When you’re always stressed or anxious, it’s harder to stay focused or productive. You might find yourself making small mistakes or feeling drained, no matter how much effort you’re putting in.

It can also affect your relationships with clients and coworkers. Chronic stress has a way of making us less patient, less present, and even less creative. You might miss out on opportunities to grow your career or take on new challenges because you’re stuck in “just keep up” mode.

When foreboding joy becomes the norm, it’s easy to lose sight of why you started this work in the first place. It can leave you feeling disconnected from the things that matter most, both personally and professionally. But here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to stay this way. Let’s explore how you can start shifting this mindset and make room for more joy in your life.

How to Start Shifting This Mindset and Make Room for Joy

The good news is, you can teach your brain a new way to handle joy. It starts with something simple: noticing. 

The next time you feel happy or proud, pause and ask yourself, “What am I thinking right now?” Awareness is the first step to breaking the habit of jumping to worst-case scenarios.

Once you’ve noticed the thought, try gently challenging it. For example, if your brain says, “This won’t last,” you can ask, “What if it does?” Or if you think, “I don’t deserve this,” remind yourself, “I worked hard for this, and I’ve earned it.” 

It’s not about forcing yourself to feel differently—it’s about giving your brain permission to see things in a new way.

Another powerful shift is learning to celebrate the small wins. You don’t have to wait for a huge milestone to feel joy. Finished a tough project? Take five minutes to savor it before jumping to the next task. Landed a new client? Treat yourself to your favorite coffee. 

These little celebrations can help retrain your brain to stay present in the good moments.

It also helps to remind yourself that joy isn’t dangerous. Sometimes, we avoid feeling happy because we think it makes us vulnerable, like we’re letting our guard down. 

But joy isn’t the enemy—it’s what gives you the energy and motivation to keep going. Letting yourself feel good doesn’t mean you’re being careless. It means you’re recharging for what’s ahead.

Finally, practice gratitude. It might sound simple, but taking a moment each day to write down a few things you’re grateful for can change how your brain sees the world. 

Gratitude helps shift your focus from what might go wrong to what’s already going right. Over time, this habit can make joy feel less scary and more natural.

Shifting your mindset isn’t something that happens overnight, and that’s okay. The important thing is to start. By noticing your thoughts and shifting them gently, you can create space for joy without fear tagging along.

Becoming a Smarter Accountant: Learning To Make Room For Joy

As I said before, I’ve spoken to many coaching clients about this topic, so now I want to share about one particular coaching client.

When I started working with her, she looked like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. She told me how every time she finished a big project, instead of feeling proud or relieved, her mind would go straight to, “What if I missed something?” 

She couldn’t stop replaying her work in her head, searching for mistakes that weren’t there. Even when her boss praised her or a client sent a thank-you email, she couldn’t enjoy it. She was always worrying about the next deadline, the next task, or the next problem waiting to pop up.

And it wasn’t just work. She shared how she’d be sitting at her daughter’s piano recital, trying to stay present, but her mind kept drifting to an unfinished email or a report she needed to double-check. 

She felt so guilty for missing those moments with her family, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t turn her brain off. She said it felt like running on a treadmill that never stopped—no matter how much she did, it was never enough.

As she started The Smarter Accountant Program, she started to notice how much her thoughts were getting in the way. I helped her practice simple things, like pausing when she felt that rush of worry and asking herself, “What if I’ve already done enough?” or “What’s going right in this moment?” 

She told me about a moment that changed everything: she had just signed a huge client she’d been chasing for months. Her first instinct was to worry about whether she’d meet their expectations, but this time, she caught herself. 

Instead of spiraling, she let herself celebrate. She even called her family to share the news—something she said she’d never done before.

In just a short amount of time, I saw her start to shift. She became more aware of those moments when worry wanted to take over, and instead, she learned how to focus on the good things. 

She started celebrating small wins, like wrapping up a report ahead of schedule or even just leaving work on time. She told me she felt lighter and more in control, not just at work but at home, too.

Her story is proof that you don’t have to fix everything overnight. It’s about catching those moments when fear tries to take over and reminding yourself that it’s okay to feel proud, to celebrate, and to let joy in. 

Now I’m going to share the key takeaway from today and an action item for the upcoming week.

Key Takeaway and Action Item

The key takeaway is that joy doesn’t make you vulnerable—your thoughts about it do. Letting yourself enjoy the good moments doesn’t mean you’re letting your guard down; it means you’re giving yourself the energy to take on whatever comes next.

For this week, ask yourself, “What if I let myself enjoy this moment without worrying about what’s next?”

This is a great question because it helps you slow down and stay in the moment. Instead of letting your brain jump to “what if” scenarios, it gently shifts your focus to what’s happening right now. 

By practicing this, you can teach your brain that it’s okay to feel happy—it doesn’t mean you’re ignoring problems, it just means you’re letting yourself feel good when good things happen. Over time, this can make joy feel less scary and more natural.

Pulling Back the Curtain

Pulling back the curtain for a moment…

I remember one tax season where everything was, on paper, going really well. Clients were happy, returns were ahead of schedule, and even my calendar felt manageable for once. But instead of enjoying it, I found myself bracing for something to go wrong.

I’d lie in bed at night going over things I’d already triple-checked. I’d get a kind email from a client and immediately think, “Did I miss something?” It was like I couldn’t fully let myself feel good about anything—I was too busy scanning for the next problem.

That’s foreboding joy.

I didn’t have the name for it at the time, but I lived it. Every win came with a silent warning from my brain: “Don’t relax. Don’t get too happy. You’ll jinx it.”

And I get why. As accountants, we’re trained to anticipate issues. To be thorough. To stay one step ahead. But no one tells us that those same skills can make joy feel like a risk instead of a reward.

What changed things for me was realizing that I didn’t need to earn joy—it was okay to feel it as it was happening. Not later. Not after everything was perfect. Right now.

So if this episode hit home for you, I want you to know this: you’re not weird, broken, or alone. You’re just human. A human with a brain that’s trying to protect you the best way it knows how. But that doesn’t mean you have to listen to every warning it throws at you.

If you want to better understand your accountant brain and how it might be keeping you stuck in fear instead of letting you enjoy the wins, take The Smarter Accountant Quiz at www.thesmarteraccountant.com.

And if you want help untangling some of the patterns you’ve built over time, I’d love to talk. Book a free 30-minute call with me at www.thesmarteraccountant.com/calendar. You don’t have to figure this out alone.

And if this episode felt helpful, please share it with another accountant. There are so many of us walking around waiting for the other shoe to drop—and maybe all it takes is one conversation to let in a little more joy.

The truth is, you’re already smart. But this podcast will show you how to be smarter.