People ask me all the time how I come up with topics for this podcast. You know, it’s typically what I notice for myself and for my coaching clients. After all, if I’m surrounded by accountants experiencing a particular issue, then you all might be experiencing it as well, right?

As we all know, as an accountant, being reliable and dependable is crucial. Whether you’re working within a company or running your own practice, the ability to deliver accurate and timely work is what builds your reputation.

When colleagues, managers, or clients know they can count on you, it can open doors to promotions, raises, and new opportunities. It feels great to be seen as the person who gets things done, doesn’t it?

However, there’s a significant downside to this. If you find yourself saying yes to every request, every project, or every little favor, you might be setting yourself up for trouble.

It might seem like a smart strategy at first—you’re the go-to person, the one who can handle anything. But… have you ever stopped to think about what this constant agreeing is doing to you?

For example, let’s say you’re already swamped with your workload, and then your manager asks if you can take on an additional project with a tight deadline. You know it’s going to be tough, but you say yes because you want to prove you can handle it.

Or what about when a client calls you last minute needing urgent financial statements for a refinancing deal that they’ve known about for months. You’ve got a busy day ahead, but you don’t want to let them down, so you say yes.

The question is, how does it feel when you constantly agree to take on more than you can comfortably handle? Do you feel stressed, overwhelmed, or even resentful?

If so, you’re not alone. The desire to be helpful and dependable can sometimes lead you to overcommit, leaving you feeling pulled in too many directions. This is particularly challenging if you’re balancing professional responsibilities with personal life, like taking care of your family.

So, why is it so hard to say no? Is it because you want to please others and avoid disappointing them? Or is it fear—fear of not being liked, valued, or even missing out on opportunities?

The issue is that constantly saying yes can lead to burnout, mistakes, and a feeling of being unappreciated. Have you noticed these signs in your own life? 

Maybe you’ve found yourself waking up early or staying up late, just trying to get everything done. Or you may have felt that there’s not enough time in the day to meet everyone’s demands and still take care of yourself.

It’s important to recognize that pushing back and setting boundaries isn’t about being difficult or uncooperative. It’s about managing your workload in a sustainable way and maintaining your well-being.

Think about it this way: If you’re always overloaded, can you truly perform at your best? Are you able to give your full attention and energy to each task? I promise that by learning to push back effectively, you can protect your time, reduce your stress, and still be a reliable and valuable professional.

But what happens when you constantly say yes, even when it stretches you too thin? Let’s talk about the consequences of always agreeing to every request.

The Consequences of Always Saying Yes

If you tend to say yes to every request, it might seem like the right thing to do. You’re helpful, dependable, and everyone appreciates you. But have you ever considered the toll this constant agreement takes on you?

As I mentioned before, there’s increased stress and burnout. Unfortunately, when you continually take on more than you can handle, stress becomes a constant companion. The issue is that, whether you want to admit it or not, this constant state of pressure isn’t sustainable. Over time, it can lead to burnout—or worse.

Unfortunately, burnout doesn’t just hit you at work; it sneaks into every part of your life, draining your energy and joy. Ever felt so overwhelmed that even the smallest tasks feel impossible? That’s burnout knocking at your door.

Another consequence of always saying yes is becoming a “dumping ground” for work. As an accountant, you probably pride yourself on your reliability. But have you noticed how this can backfire when colleagues, managers, or clients start seeing you as the go-to person for every task?

Think about it for a second: Are you the one who gets handed the last-minute projects or the tedious tasks that others don’t want to do? Are you considered the most reliable person, so everyone seems to dump things in your lap?

This isn’t just about workload—it’s about respect and recognition. When you become the “dumping ground” for work, it’s easy to feel undervalued and taken for granted. You might start to wonder if your skills and efforts are truly appreciated, or if you’re just being used because you never say no.

Here’s the thing: it’s not just your professional life that suffers when you say yes to everything. Your personal life takes a hit, too. Have you found yourself sacrificing family time, personal hobbies, or even basic self-care to keep up with work demands?

For example, did you purchase that gym membership in January with all good intentions but you’ve allowed other people to be in control of your time in and out of work?

The truth is that balancing work and personal life as an accountant is challenging enough without the added pressure of overcommitment. When you’re always saying yes, something has to give. Unfortunately, it’s often your personal life that gets pushed to the side.

You might miss out on important family events, or you might feel too exhausted to enjoy the time you do have at home. This imbalance can strain relationships and leave you feeling isolated and unhappy.

For example, if you have people in your life who complain about not spending enough time together, it can add to your stress and guilt, making you feel like you’re constantly letting someone down. This can create a vicious cycle where you’re stretched too thin at work, yet feel like you’re failing in your personal life as well. 

If you can relate, these consequences are not unique to you. But it’s important to recognize these signs and understand that pushing back doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re setting healthy boundaries to protect yourself and your well-being. 

If you can relate to any of the consequences I’ve shared it’s time to take a step back and consider how you can start saying no in a way that benefits both your professional and personal life. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself ensures that you can continue to be reliable and effective in the long run.

Now that we’ve looked at the toll that overcommitting can take, it’s important to understand why saying no is so difficult. The answer lies within your brain.

Your Brain’s Role in Pushing Back

Understanding why it’s so hard to say no can make pushing back easier. It all starts with how your brain works.

Have you ever felt a tight feeling in your stomach or guilt just thinking about saying no? That’s your brain reacting. When you think about turning down a request, your brain triggers a mix of emotions.

You might worry about upsetting someone, damaging a relationship, or getting rejected. These fears make saying no feel really tough. But why does such a simple word seem so heavy?

The truth is, the word “no” has a strong effect on the brain. If we scanned your brain and flashed the word “no,” even for less than a second, it would trigger a release of stress hormones.

This reaction messes with how your brain normally works, making it harder to think clearly, reason, and communicate. Surprising, right? It shows just how powerful the word “no” can be.

When you hear or say “no,” your brain reacts as if it’s facing danger. It releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.

These hormones are helpful in real danger but not when you’re simply trying to manage your time. This reaction makes it harder to think clearly, stay calm, and respond in a helpful way.

Think about how a toddler reacts when told “no”—crying, tantrums, the whole meltdown. It’s extreme, but it’s their brain flooding with stress, just like adults experience.

Even though you might not throw a tantrum, the stress inside can feel intense. Knowing this can help you understand why saying no feels like a challenge.

When your brain hears “no,” it goes into defense mode. It starts building arguments, trying to convince you or the other person to say yes.

This defensive mindset can make communication hard. Instead of working together to find a solution, both sides might end up in a back-and-forth argument.

Have you ever been in a heated conversation, just waiting for your turn to speak without really listening? That’s your brain’s defense mechanisms kicking in.

These stress hormones also affect how you think. When you’re stressed, the part of your brain that handles decision-making doesn’t work as well.

This makes it harder to weigh your options, think about the consequences, or communicate effectively. Have you ever agreed to something under pressure and regretted it later? That’s your stressed brain at work.

For accountants, this stress response can be a real issue. When facing a big request or tight deadline, your brain might treat it like a life-or-death situation.

This can lead to bad decisions, poor communication, and more stress. It’s important to recognize when this reaction happens and learn how to handle it.

By understanding these brain processes, you’ll see why pushing back is so hard—and why it’s crucial to approach it in a smart way. By accepting how powerful “no” can be, you can start to manage requests and set boundaries in a healthier way.

Now let’s dive into a method that can help you push back effectively.

The Best Method for Pushing Back

Now that we know why saying no can be tough, let’s talk about a way to push back that makes handling requests easier. I want to introduce you to the “Yes…AND…” method. It’s a simple but powerful way to set boundaries without causing conflict.

The “Yes…AND…” method helps you agree to a request while also making sure your needs are met. Instead of just saying no, which can create stress, you say yes and then add your own conditions with an and.

In other words, this method keeps the conversation open instead of shutting it down.

So, why does this work so well? It has to do with how our brains react to yes and no.

When someone hears yes, their brain feels calm and understood. By starting with yes, you show that you’re willing to help and that you respect the other person’s request.

The key is adding the “and.” That’s where you bring in your needs and limits.

Here’s a simple example – If your boss asks you to take on an extra project when you’re already at full capacity, you could say, “Yes, AND I can start working on it next week once I’ve finished my current deadlines.”

This response sets a clear boundary that respects your workload while still offering help within a reasonable timeframe.

By adding an and, you don’t reject the request, but you also don’t overcommit yourself. This creates a conversation where both sides can talk and find a solution that works for everyone. It helps avoid the stress and conflict that can come with saying no.

Here’s how the “Yes…AND…” method can make things better:

• Reduces Stress: By not saying no right away, you’re less likely to stress yourself or the other person. The conversation stays calm and productive.
  
• Encourages Open Communication: Starting with yes shows you’re open to talking. The “AND” invites the other person to see your side and work together.
  
• Builds Stronger Relationships: This method shows respect for both your needs and theirs. It builds trust and shows you’re willing to compromise.
  
• Empowers You: The “Yes…AND…” method helps you set boundaries without feeling guilty. You can manage your work and personal life better.
  
• Promotes Problem-Solving: This approach encourages both sides to think of creative solutions. It turns conflict into teamwork.
  

Think about a time when you felt overwhelmed by a request. How could the conversation have gone differently if you had used the “Yes…AND…” method? Instead of feeling pressured, you could have opened up a conversation that respected both your needs and the other person’s.

When it’s challenging to say no, using the “Yes…AND…” method helps you manage requests in a balanced way. It’s not about saying no all the time; it’s about saying yes in a way that works for you too.

This method lets you stay reliable without sacrificing your well-being. Next time someone makes a tough request, try the “Yes…AND…” method and see how it changes the conversation.

Practical Examples Using The Method

Now that we’ve gone over the “Yes…AND…” method, let’s look at some real-life examples of how you can use it.

At Home: Imagine you’re making dinner, and your child asks for candy. Your first thought might be to say no so they don’t ruin their appetite, but that could lead to a tantrum and a stressful evening.

Instead, try the “Yes…AND…” method: “Yes, you can have some candy AND after we finish dinner, you can pick one out.” This way, your child feels heard, and you keep things calm by setting a condition that works for both of you.

At Work: Scheduling with clients can be tricky. Suppose a client wants a meeting outside your regular hours.

Instead of saying no right away, you could say, “Yes, I’m available for a meeting AND I have openings tomorrow afternoon or Friday morning. Which time works best for you?” This shows you’re willing to help while also protecting your time.

With Clients: Managing expectations when you’re fully booked can be tough.

If a client wants to hire you but your schedule is full, instead of turning them away, you could say, “Yes, I’d love to work with you AND I can add you to my waitlist and let you know as soon as I have an opening. In the meantime, let’s discuss your needs so I’m ready when the time comes.” This way, you leave a good impression and keep future opportunities open.

In Personal Life: Handling requests from your spouse without causing tension is important for keeping a healthy relationship.

If your spouse asks you to pick up their dry cleaning but you’re already busy, you might say, “Yes, I can help with that AND the best time for me is Friday at 4 pm. Does that work for you?” This shows you’re willing to help while clearly stating your limits, so you don’t overcommit.

These examples show how the “Yes…AND…” method helps you manage requests without feeling overwhelmed. It lets you stay reliable and professional while also taking care of your own needs.

Becoming a Smarter Accountant: Pushing Back With The “Yes…AND…” Method

I want to share how I’ve used the “Yes…AND…” method in my own career. While I’m proud of being known for my strong work ethic, I was becoming the go-to person for every urgent project.

The constant demands were wearing me down, and I started feeling exhausted and unappreciated.

After learning about the “Yes…AND…” method, I decided to give it a try. Instead of always saying yes and giving up my personal time, I responded with, “Yes, I can help with this project AND I’ll need to adjust the deadline to make sure it’s done right. I’ll need to schedule it for early next week”

To my surprise, the person agreed. We settled on a new deadline that allowed me to get the work done without overwhelming myself.

By starting with a yes, I showed I was willing to help, and by adding the and, I set a boundary to protect my time.

Another time, a colleague asked me to review a report at the last minute. I said, “Yes, I can review the report AND I’ll have it back to you by Thursday afternoon.”

The colleague pushed back a little, but since I was offering help on my terms, they realized it was a win/win.

As you can see, it might feel uncomfortable at first to push back, but you don’t have to be a doormat. By using the “Yes…AND…” method, you can get things done on your terms.   

Key Takeaway and Action Item

The “Yes…AND…” method is a great way to set boundaries without causing conflict. By starting with a yes and then adding your own conditions with an and, you create a conversation that respects both your needs and the other person’s.

This method helps lower stress, improves communication, and protects your well-being while still allowing you to be seen as reliable and dependable.

So, the next time you face a tough request, ask yourself: “How can I use the ‘Yes…AND…’ method to acknowledge this request while also setting a boundary that protects my time and well-being?”

Well, that’s what I have for you.  Thank you for joining me as I discussed when you need to push back.  I hope you’ve learned something that you can begin to apply, whether it’s at work or at home.

If you are struggling with any aspect of being an accountant, you can simply go to www.thesmarteraccountant.com/calendar and book a free session with me.

And make sure you check back each week as I help you go from being a stressed accountant to a Smarter Accountant.

Make sure you go to www.thesmarteraccountant.com and take The Smarter Accountant Quiz. You’re going to want to know if you’ve been underutilizing your accountant brain so that you have a starting point for becoming a Smarter Accountant..

Also, I would appreciate it if you could get the word out to other accountants about this podcast.  The more accountants find out about it, the more we can begin to change the narrative in the accounting profession.

The truth is that you’re already smart, but this podcast will show you how to be smarter.