Today I want to talk about something that might seem a bit unconventional for our line of work but trust me, it’s crucial for our success – who is taking up space in our minds. You know, people from our past and the people we interact with day in and day out. 

They all play a significant role in shaping our accounting careers, whether we realize it or not.

The reason this came up is because I had read this incredible book called “Who’s In Your Room” by Ivan Misner, Stewart Emery, and Rick Sapio, and let me tell you, it’s been a game-changer. At first, I was a bit skeptical, thinking, “What does a book about a room have to do with being an accountant?” 

But as I began reading it, I realized just how relevant and impactful its message is for us as accountants.

Think about it – our professional success isn’t just about balancing debits and credits or the reports we generate. It’s also heavily influenced by the people we surround ourselves with, mentally and physically – our clients, colleagues, mentors, and even the occasional networking contact. 

Each interaction and relationship shapes our professional journey in ways we might not even be aware of.

So, what exactly does “Who’s In Your Room” mean? Let me share how they describe the book on Amazon – “Who’s in Your Room? introduces you to the concept of your life being like a room—a room where anyone who enters affects your life . . . forever. 

Although this concept may sound frightening, this book gives you the tools and exercises you need to take control of your room and live the life you desire.  This book brings in experts to describe how people leave you with memories that cannot be erased but can be managed. 

You manage them by determining what’s really important to you, and then you can determine how to spend your time and whom you should be spending it with. Stop living according to everyone else’s rules. 

Shape your life by taking control of your room. Live your life by your design!”

That’s Amazon’s description, but basically, imagine your life is a room, and everyone you’ve ever met is in your room.  You’ve got supportive and reliable people and you’ve got the ones who drain your energy, cause unnecessary drama, and clutter your space.

The key is – no one ever leaves your room; ever.  Every person you’ve ever met is still in your room, so the key is that you’re going to want to make sure you’re designating where everyone is allowed to be in your room.

Are they allowed to be up close, whispering in your ear on a daily basis, or are they sent to the back of the room?  Who are you allowing to influence you?  Whose voice is the loudest?  Who occupies your mental energy?

Understanding who’s currently in your room – and more importantly, who you’re now going to let in – is one of the keys to creating a successful and sustainable accounting career. It’s about being intentional with our relationships, setting boundaries, and surrounding ourselves with people who uplift and inspire us.

Why is this important?  Because the truth is, our success as accountants isn’t just about our technical skills. Our ability to do what we need to do hinges on how we feel; and how we feel is dependent on how we think.

That’s why it’s incredibly important to understand that you have over 60,000 thoughts a day that are influenced by the people in your room.  Your ability to communicate effectively, manage your time, build trust with clients, and navigate the complexities of being a trusted professional are all directly influenced by those 60,000 thoughts a day.

That’s where the wisdom of “Who’s In Your Room” comes in. It’s not just a self-help book – it’s a practical guide to cultivating a personal and professional circle that supports and empowers us.

Keep listening because addressing the question, “Who’s In Your Room?” is going to be more impactful than you might realize.

Understanding Your “Room”

First off, let’s talk about your “room” as an accountant. When you think of your room, you’re probably thinking of your office space, but when the book talks about your “room,” it’s talking about your life, your interactions, and your memories.

The people in your “room” are the people you interact with every day, but also the people you’ve come in contact with professionally or personally, dead or alive, in person or people you’ve never met.  For example, it could be famous people you’ve never met or the person who cut in front of you on the checkout line.  

If you’ve interacted with, in one form or another, or thought about a person, they’re in your room.

As far as being an accountant, there are probably a lot of people in your room related to your career.  For example, for me, that ranges from the 10th grade bookkeeping teacher who told me that accounting might be a great career to the Tax Partner at Deloitte that treated me badly 25 years ago.

They’re all in my room. 

For you, your parents, friends, siblings, teachers, bosses, coworkers, clients and colleagues are there.  In fact, everyone you’ve ever worked for or with is in your room. Your biggest supporters and your toughest competition are all there.

Now, here’s where it gets interesting – the impact of these individuals on your success. Believe it or not, the people you surround yourself with, mentally and physically, can have a huge influence on your professional journey. 

Think about it – a supportive client can become a loyal advocate, referring you to their friends and colleagues. A helpful colleague can make your job a whole lot easier, while a toxic one can make it feel like you’re swimming against the tide. 

And mentors or coaches can be like guiding lights, showing you the way and helping you avoid the pitfalls along the path to success.

So, bottom line – understanding who’s in your room, where they’re standing in the room, and how they’re impacting you is incredibly important. It’s about being intentional with your relationships, setting boundaries when necessary, and surrounding yourself with people who lift you up.

Because when it comes down to it, having the right people in the right places in your room can make all the difference in the world.

Evaluating Your Professional Relationships

First things first – let’s take a good hard look at the quality of your connections – your clients, your colleagues, and those industry contacts you’ve collected over the years. 

Are these relationships adding value to your life and your career? Are they helping you grow and thrive, or are they just taking up space in your mental “room”?

Now, here’s the tricky part – toxic relationships. We all have them, whether we like to admit it or not. These are the connections that drain our energy, create unnecessary drama, and hold us back from reaching our full potential. 

It might be that client who’s always demanding more but never willing to pay for it. Or that colleague who’s constantly throwing shade and making us doubt ourselves. 

Whatever the case, toxic relationships can seriously affect our professional growth if we let them.  But the beauty of the “Who’s in your room?” concept is that you get to put those toxic people in the back of the room.

In fact, when I picture my room, I imagine a roped-off VIP section where a very large bouncer, probably my husband, is standing guard, only letting certain people to come sit and talk with me.  The bouncer puts up a large, muscled arm and tells the toxic people they’re not allowed to get any closer.

That imagery helps to deal with the mental aspect of these negative people, but what can you do if these people aren’t going away from you physically, any time soon?  It’s all about setting boundaries, communicating effectively, and knowing when it’s time to cut ties if necessary. 

But just know that those people are always going to be in your room whether you like it or not.  They just don’t have to be within earshot when you decide to put them in the back of the room. 

Just make sure that you’re surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people who lift you up.  Those are the people who should be allowed to be closest to you in your room.  

The bottom line is that it’s time to detach as much as possible from the energy drainers, to nurture the good relationships, and to create a professional circle that truly supports our growth and success. 

Designing and Organizing Your “Room”

Alright, now let’s talk about designing and organizing your room – not the physical space, but the space where your professional and personal life unfolds, where every person who has entered or will enter leaves their mark.

Now, I get it – the idea of your life being like a room might sound a bit strange or intimidating at first. After all, it means that every interaction, every relationship, every moment shapes the landscape of your life in ways that can’t be undone. 

But here’s the thing – that’s also where the power lies.

“Who’s in Your Room?” isn’t just about accepting that your life is influenced by others. It’s about taking back control of your mental space and designing it in a way that reflects who you truly are and what you truly want.

How do you do that?  Here are some actionable steps you can take:

Reflection and Assessment: Take some time to reflect on your current “room.” Think about the people who are currently in your life – your clients, colleagues, friends, and family. Consider how each person impacts your life, both positively and negatively. Assess whether these relationships align with your values and goals.  Who’s closest to you in your room that shouldn’t be?

Identify Your Priorities: Determine what’s truly important to you. What are your values, goals, and aspirations? What kind of life do you want to create for yourself? By clarifying your priorities, you’ll have a clearer vision of the type of relationships and experiences you want in your life.

Set Boundaries: Establish boundaries to protect your time, energy, and well-being. This might involve saying no to activities or relationships that drain you or don’t align with your priorities. Boundaries help you create space for the people and activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

Curate Your Circle: Once you’ve identified your priorities and set boundaries, it’s time to curate your circle. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, who share your values and goals, and who contribute positively to your growth and well-being. This might involve cultivating new relationships and nurturing existing ones.  It could also mean listening to certain authors or podcasts like this one that help you grow personally and professionally.

Be Selective: Remember, everyone you’ve ever come in contact with is in your room.  But besides having a bouncer to keep people away from your VIP section, you also have a doorman at the entrance to your room who decides who can come in from now on.  So, learn to be more selective based on who you already have in your room, who’s helpful and uplifting, and who you’d like to bring in from now on.  Again, no one ever leaves the room, so be selective about who gets close up and personal access to you.  Whose voices do you want to be whispering in your ear? Who needs to be muzzled?   

Regular Reflection and Adjustment: Your “room” isn’t static – it’s constantly evolving as you grow and change. That’s why it’s important to regularly reflect on your relationships and experiences, and adjust accordingly. Be willing to let go of relationships that no longer serve you and have them moved to the back of the room.  Then invite new ones that align with who you are becoming and what’s important to you.

By following these steps, you can design a room that reflects who you are and supports the life you want to create. Remember, you have the power to design and organize your room, so make sure your room is set up in a way that the people that bring you joy, fulfillment, and success are up close and the naysayers have to sit in the back dark corner.

Before I tell you about a few clients who have used this concept, let me ask you a question – who’s rooms are you in?  Who are you having an impact on?  

People enter your room and you enter theirs.  Are you entering rooms you truly want to be in?  Are you being your best, authentic self in the rooms you want to be in?  Just something to consider.

Becoming a Smarter Accountant: Being Clear About “Who’s In Your Room”

Now let me share how a few clients have been using the “Who’s In Your Room?” concept for themselves.

One client works for a large firm, and found herself constantly stressed and overwhelmed by the demands of her clients and colleagues. She felt like she was always trying to please everyone but never had time to focus on her own work and professional development. 

Once I introduced her to the “Who’s In Your Room?” concept, she realized that she had been allowing the voices of demanding clients and critical colleagues to dominate her mind.  She was thinking about them even when she was at home, never feeling like she left work at work.

She decided to prioritize the voices of her supportive mentors like me, her encouraging colleagues, and appreciative clients. By repositioning these people and their voices in her room, she reduced her stress levels and began to have an easier career. 

Another client works for a mid-sized firm, and struggled with low self-esteem and self-doubt in his personal life. He often found himself comparing himself to others and felt like he didn’t measure up. 

After focusing on the “Who’s In Your Room?” concept, he realized that he had been allowing the voices of his critical parents and judgmental friends to be front and center for too long.  

Once he got clear about where these people should now be in the room of his mind, he decided to prioritize the voices of his supportive wife and encouraging friends. He also decided to set some boundaries with the people he’d been letting negatively influence him.

By repositioning these voices in his room, he was able to feel much more confident.  And once he started feeling confident, he noticed how much more selective he was about who he spent time with in his room. 

Hopefully these client’s stories and the “Who’s in your room?” concept is something you can relate to.  The truth is that, although no one ever leaves the room of your mind, you do have the power to position each person in a way that honors what’s in your best interest. 

Well, that’s what I have for you.  Thank you for joining me as I discussed the “Who’s in your room?” concept.  I hope you’ve gained valuable insights and practical tools.

If you are struggling with any aspect of being an accountant, you can simply go to www.thesmarteraccountant.com/calendar and book a free session with me.

And make sure you check back each week as I help you go from being a stressed accountant to a Smarter Accountant.

Make sure you go to www.thesmarteraccountant.com and take The Smarter Accountant Quiz. You’re going to want to know if you’ve been underutilizing your accountant brain so that you have a starting point for becoming a Smarter Accountant.

Also, I would appreciate it if you could get the word out to other accountants about this podcast.  The more accountants find out about it, the more we can begin to change the narrative in the accounting profession.

The truth is that you’re already smart, but this podcast will show you how to be smarter.