Have you ever walked into a room and felt like something was wrong, even if no one said anything? Maybe people looked worried, or the air just felt tense. Before you knew it, you started feeling nervous too.
Now think about a different kind of room—one that feels calm and steady, even when there’s a lot going on. In that kind of space, it’s easier to think and get things done. It almost feels like the room itself is telling you, “You’re doing great!”
That’s because people feel the energy of the leader in the room. If a leader is calm, it helps everyone else stay focused. But if a leader is stressed, that stress spreads like a cold—real fast.
Think about a time when you felt really clear and ready to work. Was it because everything was perfect? Or was it because the person in charge made you feel safe and focused? The truth is, how a leader feels affects the whole team, whether they realize it or not.
Some people think staying calm under pressure is just something you’re born with, but that’s not true. It’s a skill you can practice—like learning to ride a bike or tying your shoes. And when you do, it makes a huge difference.
Think about this – have you ever noticed how your own mood affects others? If you walk into a room feeling worried, do people start looking nervous too? But when you walk in feeling calm, doesn’t everything seem to run more smoothly?
The thing is, being a great leader isn’t just about what you say or do. It’s also about how you make people feel. And the good news is that you don’t have to be perfect. Just making small changes to your energy can help your whole team feel better and get more done.
So, what kind of energy are you bringing into the spaces where you lead? Are you helping people feel focused and ready to work? Or does it sometimes feel like everything is spinning too fast?
If you’ve ever wanted to create a calm and focused space for your team, this episode is for you.
Why Emotional Contagion Happens
Have you ever been around someone who was really stressed and, all of a sudden, you started feeling nervous too? Or maybe you were with someone who was super calm, and you started to feel relaxed, even if you were worried before?
That’s because feelings can spread—kind of like a yawn. When one person feels a certain way, the people around them often start to feel the same. This happens all the time, even when we don’t notice it.
Here’s why: Our brains have something called mirror neurons. These little brain cells help us copy the feelings and actions of others. If someone is smiling and calm, our brain picks up that signal and helps us feel calm too. But if someone is worried or upset, we start to feel that way without even trying.
Our brains are also always watching for danger. One way we figure out if things are okay is by looking at the people around us—especially leaders, coworkers, or others that you come in contact with. If they seem calm, our brain thinks, “Everything is fine.” But if they look stressed, our brain might panic and make small problems feel big.
This isn’t just about feelings—it actually changes how well we think and work. When we’re around calm people, our brain stays clear and focused, making it easier to solve problems. But when we’re around stress, our brain jumps into panic mode, making everything seem harder than it really is.
What’s really amazing is that we don’t even choose to copy someone’s emotions—it just happens. That’s why one person’s mood can spread to a whole group without anyone saying a word.
So why does this matter? Because your feelings affect others, too. The way you act and feel spreads to the people around you. If you stay calm, you help others feel calm, too. But if you’re upset, that feeling spreads just as fast.
The good news is that you can choose what kind of energy you bring into a room. Even small changes—like taking a deep breath before reacting—can help everyone around you feel more steady and focused.
The best leaders know this secret: When they stay calm, their whole team works better. And when you understand this, you can use it to help others, too.
The Brain Science Behind Calm Leadership
Let’s look at what happens in the brain when we’re calm—or when we’re not—and why it’s so important for you and the people around you.
Your brain is always working, even when you don’t notice it. One of its biggest jobs is to keep you safe. It’s always watching and listening to see if everything is okay. And one of the biggest clues it uses is the people around you.
If you stay calm, it tells other people’s brains, “Everything is fine. We’ve got this.” But if you seem nervous or stressed, their brains might think, “Uh-oh! Something is wrong!” This happens because of how different parts of the brain work.
The thinking part of the brain, which I like to call the Supervising Parent, helps us solve problems and make good decisions. But when we get too stressed, the brain switches to a different part—the Toddler Brain. This part only cares about danger and reacts fast, even when there’s no real danger. It’s like a fire alarm that goes off whether there’s smoke or just burnt toast.
When the Toddler Brain takes over, it’s hard to focus. Even small tasks feel big. But when a leader stays calm, it helps everyone think clearly and get things done.
Think of it like Wi-Fi. When the signal is strong, everything works smoothly. But when it’s weak and glitchy, it’s stressful. Like trying to watch a video that keeps freezing.
Even better, when you stay calm over and over, people start to trust you. Their brains learn, “This person won’t freak out, even when things get hard.” That makes everyone feel safer and more confident, which helps them do their best work.
Being calm isn’t just good for the brain—it’s good for the body too. When people feel safe and supported, they have less of a stress hormone called cortisol, which makes everything feel extra hard. Instead of wasting energy worrying, they can focus on what really matters.
So next time things get busy, think about the energy you’re giving off. Are you helping others stay calm, or making things feel even more stressful? The way you show up affects how everyone else’s brain works—and that’s a big deal, especially for accountants.
Why Calm Is a Leadership Superpower
Now that we know how calmness helps the brain, let’s talk about why it’s such a superpower for leaders. Being calm isn’t just about feeling good—it helps people trust you, think clearly, and work better as a team.
Have you ever met someone who stays steady even when everything around them feels stressful? The kind of person who walks into a busy room and suddenly, things feel a little more under control?
That kind of leader makes everyone feel safer, more focused, and more capable. It’s not just nice—it’s powerful.
Being calm doesn’t mean pretending problems don’t exist. It means staying steady even when things get tough. When a leader does that, it helps everyone else take a deep breath, think before they react, and find solutions instead of just worrying about problems.
And research shows that people trust calm leaders the most. Not because they always have the right answer, but because they don’t panic. They show, over and over, that they can handle tough situations without losing control. That kind of leader makes people feel safe.
Another reason calmness is so important is that it helps people see things more clearly. Imagine looking at a mountain covered in thick fog. You can’t see the path forward.
But when the fog lifts, everything becomes clear. That’s what a calm leader does—they help people focus on what matters and let go of what doesn’t.
Calm leaders also help people be more creative and work together better. When people don’t feel rushed or judged, they share more ideas and take more chances. A calm leader makes everyone feel safe to try new things, and that’s when great ideas happen.
Studies also show that calmness spreads. When one person stays steady, others start to do the same. Before you know it, the whole team is handling challenges with more confidence and focus—not because the problems disappeared, but because you showed them how.
Being a calm leader doesn’t mean you’ll never feel stressed. Of course, you will—you’re human. But it does mean choosing to manage your emotions so they don’t control you. The more you practice, the better you get.
So, what makes a great leader? It’s not just their job title or their skills. It’s their ability to bring calm to the chaos, to build trust, and to help people do their best, no matter what’s going on around them. That’s what makes calm leadership a superpower.
The Hidden Costs of Stressful Leadership
But what happens when calm is missing? Let’s look at how stress in leadership can slow things down and make work harder for everyone—including the leader.
When a leader is stressed, it’s like the whole team is carrying extra weight. Even simple tasks start to feel heavy. Instead of moving forward smoothly, everything feels rushed and messy.
Have you ever noticed that when people are nervous, they make more mistakes? That’s not an accident.
Stress makes it harder for the brain to focus. Instead of paying attention to details, people go into survival mode—and that’s when things start slipping through the cracks.
But it’s not just about mistakes. Stress makes work exhausting. Even small tasks feel like a huge effort when the whole team is on edge. It’s like everyone is running a race without a finish line.
When a leader is stressed, the team reacts instead of solving problems. It’s like trying to clean up a mess that never ends. Over time, stress makes people feel tired and unmotivated. Work starts to feel like a chore.
Stress also hurts trust. If a leader is always tense or unpredictable, people might be afraid to ask for help or share their ideas. Instead of feeling safe, they just try to avoid making mistakes.
And here’s the tricky part—stress spreads fast. Even small things start to feel like big problems. But many leaders don’t see how their stress affects everyone around them.
This isn’t about blaming leaders for feeling stressed—leading is a tough job. But it’s important to ask: Is the way I handle stress helping or hurting the people around me?
When you lead with calm, you avoid these hidden problems. You help your team focus, trust each other, and do their best work—even when things are tough. And that can make all the difference.
How to Cultivate Calm as a Leader
Being a leader can feel stressful, but that doesn’t mean you have to be stressed all the time. Let’s look at some simple ways you can stay calm and help your team feel steady, no matter what’s going on.
Here’s the thing: Staying calm doesn’t just happen—it’s a choice you make every day, even when things feel overwhelming.
One of the best things you can do is leave your stress at the door. If you’re having a tough day or feeling frustrated, that’s okay. But your team doesn’t need to carry that weight with you.
This doesn’t mean you should hide your feelings or act like a robot. It just means thinking about how you show up, so your emotions don’t make things harder for everyone else.
If you notice yourself feeling anxious or rushed, take a moment to pause. Even one deep breath can help you feel more in control before you walk into a meeting or conversation.
Another way to stay calm is to set clear boundaries. If you take on too much, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Protecting your time helps you handle challenges without feeling stretched too thin.
Being prepared also makes a huge difference. If you think ahead about how you’ll handle tough situations, you’ll feel more in control when they happen.
And don’t forget to give yourself breathing room. A little extra time between meetings or tasks can help you reset and stay steady throughout the day.
Lastly, you don’t have to do it all alone. Whether it’s a mentor, a coach, a coworker, or your team, asking for help can take some of the pressure off your shoulders.
Being a calm leader doesn’t mean you never feel stressed. It just means choosing to manage your emotions so they don’t spread to everyone else.
When you show up steady and focused, it helps your whole team feel the same way. And that’s one of the best ways to lead.
Becoming a Smarter Accountant: Creating My Own Calm in the Midst of Chaos
Sometimes, staying calm isn’t just about being a good leader—it’s about survival. Let me share a story about how I learned to find calm during one of the hardest times of my life.
I’ve worked with leaders who were anything but calm. You know the type—the ones who turn everything into a crisis. It’s exhausting, right?
For a long time, I thought I just had to deal with it. I figured my job was to get my work done, no matter how stressful the environment was. But then, life changed everything when I was diagnosed with cancer in May of 2024.
Suddenly, staying calm wasn’t just about making it through the workday—it was about my health. I needed to take care of myself, and that meant learning how to protect my peace. I made a decision: No matter what was happening around me, I was going to create my own bubble of calm.
The hardest part was setting boundaries. The person I worked for was always rushing, always stressed, and always pulling everyone into their chaos. If I let their energy take over, I knew I wouldn’t stand a chance.
So, I got really clear about what I needed. I calmly told them when I would be available, how I would handle last-minute requests, and what I couldn’t take on. It wasn’t easy, but the more I stood my ground, the more I realized—I could protect my own peace.
And the good news is that it worked. Not only did I stay focused when I was working, but I also had the mental strength I needed to get through one of the toughest times in my life.
But here’s the thing—this isn’t just for big life challenges. It’s for anyone who wants to stay steady in a stressful world.
You don’t have to be a boss to set the tone for your own space. You can decide how you want to show up, what energy you bring, and what energy you allow in. It’s not about controlling everything—it’s about choosing what affects you.
I won’t say it’s always easy. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that protecting your peace is worth it. It doesn’t just help you do better at work—it helps you feel better in your life.
So, what would it look like for you to create your own bubble of calm? What boundaries could you set? How could you show up differently, even when things feel chaotic?
It’s not about being perfect—it’s about taking small steps toward the peace you deserve.
And speaking of small steps, let’s go over the biggest takeaway from today and an action item you can try this week.
Key Takeaway and Action Item
The most important thing to remember is this: Your energy is one of your most powerful tools. Whether you’re leading a team or just managing your own day, choosing to stay calm—even when things feel chaotic—helps you focus, do your best work, and positively affect everyone around you.
So here’s something to try this week: Ask yourself, “What would it look like for me to bring calm into my day, no matter what’s going on around me?”
This question helps you turn your focus inward. It’s easy to think that staying calm depends on what’s happening around you, but the truth is, it starts with you.
By asking yourself this, you’ll start noticing small ways to bring more calm into your day. Maybe it’s setting a boundary, taking a deep breath before reacting, or deciding not to get pulled into someone else’s stress.
Choosing calm doesn’t mean you’ll never feel stress. It means choosing how to handle it. When you stay calm, everything feels easier. You don’t have to fix everything—just decide how you want to show up.
So, what’s one way you can create calm today? Start there and see how it changes not just your day, but the energy of the people around you.
Well, that’s what I have for you today. Thank you for joining me as I shared why calm leaders create focused teams. I hope you’re walking away with the awareness of how you can create calm in the midst of chaos, whether you’re a leader or not.
As I always say, you’ve worked hard to become an accountant; it’s time to make it easier to be one.
If you’d like to discuss anything you’re currently struggling with, you can schedule a free 30-minute call with me at https://thesmarteraccountant.com/calendar/.
And don’t forget to check back each week for more tips and strategies to help you go from being a stressed accountant to a Smarter Accountant.
Also, if you haven’t already, make sure to take The Smarter Accountant Quiz at www.thesmarteraccountant.com to see if you’ve been underutilizing your accountant brain. It’s a great starting point to see where you are and how you can improve.
Lastly, if you’ve found today’s episode helpful, I’d really appreciate it if you could spread the word to other accountants. The more we get this message out, the more we can change the narrative in the accounting profession and help accountants everywhere.
The truth is that you’re already smart, but this podcast will show you how to be smarter.