May 2024 – The Smarter Accountant

3 Secrets To Creating More time

Posted on May 29, 2024May 29, 2024 by Dawn Goldberg

Before I get started, I just wanted to mention that it’s the one year anniversary of starting The Smarter Accountant Podcast and I’m sincerely appreciative of all of you for listening and sharing this podcast with other accountants. As a token of my gratitude, I have created The Smarter Accountant Podcast Guide.

If you have ever listened to an episode and thought, “That was helpful. Now what do I DO with this information?” then this guide will be a game changer.

Because I want this podcast to be different from other shows you probably listen to, this one-of-a-kind podcast guide will help you apply what’s in each episode. You just need to go to www.thesmarteraccountant.com/podcast-guide to sign up and we’ll email the Podcast Guide right to you.

Okay, now let’s talk about something I love helping accountants with: time management. I bet you’ve said, “There’s not enough time,” many times.

Believe me, I’ve been there too, buried under my workload, tax returns, and looming deadlines, wondering how to squeeze more hours out of the day.

But here’s the hard truth: time management is NOT taught correctly to accountants. In fact, we’re typically given work to do, maybe a budgeted amount of time to do it, but not shown how to actually manage our time.

That’s why I’m passionate about teaching accountants better time management—it’s a crucial skill for success in accounting. Whether you’re in public or private accounting, mastering the art of time management is essential if you want to meet expectations but also maintain your sanity in the face of ever-increasing demands.

As we know all too well, in our line of work, every minute counts. But with so many competing priorities vying for our attention, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and bogged down by the sheer volume of work on our plates.

That’s where effective time management strategies come into play. I’ll be sharing various aspects of time management on future episodes of this podcast. Over the next year, I’ll be exploring various time management tips and tricks tailored specifically for accountants like us.

From topics like conquering procrastination, to effectively prioritizing, I’m also going to explain the brain science behind effective time management. But for this episode just know that you can reclaim control over your schedule.

The reason I think this is so important is because in the fast-paced world of accounting, time is truly our most valuable asset. Unfortunately, it seems impossible to create more of it, but hopefully, you’ll see that it doesn’t have to be as difficult as you might assume.

The truth is that you’ve just never been taught time management the way I teach it so be on the lookout for future episodes where I dive deeper into every aspect of time management for accountants. For this episode, let’s dive into my 3 secrets to creating more time.

Secret #1 – Your Time Management BFF

If you’ve been listening to this podcast for awhile, you know I love blending brain science with accounting. But what I also like to explain is blending brain science with time management.

In previous episodes, I’ve explained how our brains work, but here’s a refresher – there’s the primitive, lower brain that I refer to as the Toddler and there’s the higher, planning and decision-making part of the brain that I refer to as the Supervising Parent.

The primitive, Toddler brain is all about seeking pleasure, avoiding pain, and conserving energy. It’s the part of our brain that we’ve had since humans lived in caves and it’s always on the lookout for anything that might help us survive.

Then there’s the Supervising Parent, planning part, also known as the prefrontal cortex, that has developed over time and is only present in humans. This part of our brain is like our brain’s personal organizer, helping us think ahead and make smart choices.

For accountants, tapping into the Supervising Parent is a game-changer, not just for getting accounting work done, but especially for time management. It’s like having a secret weapon to not only manage your time, but also create more time.

How? Because the Toddler, survival-mode brain isn’t always a fan of planning. To this part of your brain, planning is a waste of energy and it would rather just go with the flow, seeking immediate gratification in the form of doing easier things.

But here’s the biggest problem – it is not onboard with a lot of the work we do as accountants. In fact, because a lot of what we do is often complicated and takes a lot of mental energy, our Toddler brain would rather us do easier things like check email or procrastinate that big project or complicated tax return.

Just like an actual toddler, the Toddler brain wants what it wants when it wants it and looks for a hit of the feel good hormone dopamine. So, when it comes to time management, convincing it to get on board with scheduling our time takes a bit of effort.

But trust me, it’s worth it. When you make a plan and stick to it, you actually end up with more time on your hands because the Toddler brain is extremely inefficient and unproductive and it’s the part of the brain that you’re using 80 – 90% of the time without you realizing it.

The truth is that when we use the higher, Supervising Parent part of our brain, our time management BFF, to manage our time, we can get more done in less time. It’s all about truly working smarter, not harder.

I’m not going to get into how to effectively calendar your time because it’s one of the things I teach in The Smarter Accountant Time Management Program, but for now, just know that planning your time is one of your super powers. The key is that humans are the only species that have the higher, prefrontal cortex part of the brain, so when you learn how to use it more often, you also can create more time than you ever thought possible.

Let me share an example – Imagine you’ve got a mountain of accounting work to tackle – reports to write, tax returns to finish, and meetings to attend. If you just dive in without a plan, letting the Toddler brain be in charge, you might find yourself bouncing from one thing to the next, wasting precious time along the way.

But if you take a few minutes to map out your week or your day and assign time slots to each task, you’ll be amazed at how much smoother things go. Again, planning and making decisions ahead of time is the best way to create more time because you’re using your higher brain to do it.

For example, you could allocate 30 minutes to write reports, followed by 2 hours to finish a tax return, and maybe an hour for meetings. By creating boundaries around your time, sticking to these time limits, and not bleeding into other time slots, you’ll stay focused and productive, without getting bogged down by distractions.

And the best part is that planning isn’t just about work. It’s also about making time for the things and the people you love.

Whether it’s taking a walk, reading a book, or spending time with loved ones, planning your time with your Supervising Parent brain is key to maintaining balance in our lives.

Even though you might be resistant to the idea of planning and calendaring your time because it might take a little effort upfront, I promise that the payoff is worth it.

Bottom line: You’ll be more efficient, less stressed, and have more time to enjoy the things that matter most.

Secret #2 – Sticking To It

So once you’ve got your time planned out, now it’s time to stick to the plan no matter what. This is where my coaching clients have the biggest issues – following the plan.

Here’s the thing – once everything is on your calendar, you need to treat your calendar as a promise to yourself – no backing out, no matter how you’re feeling that day.

When I teach accountants better time management, I show them how their emotions control what they do or don’t do. By pushing through even when you don’t feel like it, you learn how important it is to stick to your plans.

Here’s the most important thing to know – when it’s time to start working on your plan, be ready for your Toddler brain to try and talk you out of it. Remember, your Toddler brain is NOT onboard with accounting work.

In fact, it might make you think things like it’s a bad idea, that you should wait, or that you can’t do it. But if you create a plan and stick to it no matter what by using your higher, Supervising Parent part of your brain, you’ll be able to ignore those doubts.

Here’s why this is so important – because not having and then sticking to a plan can waste a lot of time. It’s like deciding to drive from NY to Florida but then changing your mind halfway and turning back. Making a plan and sticking to it helps you make the most of your time.

This is true whether you’re making big decisions like planning a trip or just deciding what to do with your day. Sticking to your plan is how you make sure you get things done.

For example, let’s say you’ve scheduled time to complete a complex tax return from 9 AM to 11 AM. If you don’t manage your brain and you let the Toddler be in charge, you’ll start the task but then get distracted by emails or other easier tasks.

You’ll end up wasting the two hours and still have the tax return to finish.

But if you use the Supervising Parent part of your brain, you would set your schedule, close your email, silence your phone, and commit to focusing solely on the tax return for those two hours. When distractions pop up, you push through and stay focused on your task.

If you’re like most of my coaching clients and you find it hard to stick to your plan, make sure you know why getting the thing done in the time you’ve decided is important. When you have a compelling reason why, you can override your Toddler brain’s knee-jerk reaction for immediate gratification.

Remember, your Toddler brain is not onboard with anything that’s not pleasurable and takes effort. Having a compelling enough reason to override that Toddler brain is incredibly important.

It’s like giving yourself a pep talk and sticking to your plan. Deciding why something is important puts the Supervising Parent in charge of your time and that’s exactly what you want to do if you want to create more time.

Bottom line: be on to your Toddler brain when it throws a temper tantrum or tries to convince you not to follow the plan. Your future self will thank you for creating and sticking to the plan.

Secret #3 – The Gift Of Focus

As accountants in this fast-paced world, we can often find ourselves inundated with tasks and information, leading to feelings of overwhelm and stress. Whether it’s managing financial reports, coordinating meetings, or balancing budgets, the demands of the profession can sometimes feel never-ending.

With so much on our plates, it’s easy to fall into the trap of distractions. From emails and phone calls to social media and news updates, the constant barrage of information can pull us away from our priorities and affect our productivity.

But there’s a simple yet powerful strategy that can help you navigate this sea of distractions – the power of focus. By honing in on one task at a time and seeing it through to completion, you can improve your efficiency and get more done in less time.

Here’s what I tell my time management coaching clients all the time – when you learn how to manage your brain and your time, you’re better able to get more done in less time and thereby create more time.

For example, let’s say you have several tasks on your agenda for the day: preparing financial statements, reviewing tax returns, and responding to client emails.

Without focus – You start by working on financial statements, but then you get distracted by an urgent email from a client. You switch gears to respond to the email, only to be interrupted by a colleague asking for assistance with a tax return.

By the end of the day, you realize you haven’t made much progress on any of your tasks, leaving you feeling frustrated and overwhelmed.

With focus – You recognize that completing the financial statements is your top priority for the day because they’re due by the end of the week. You set aside dedicated time to work on them without any interruptions, turning off email notifications and silencing your phone.

As you tackle the task at hand, you find that you’re able to make significant progress and produce high-quality results. By the end of the day, you’ve completed the financial statements ahead of schedule, leaving you feeling accomplished and in control.

By prioritizing focus and dedicating uninterrupted time to each task, you can overcome distractions and optimize your productivity. So, the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed by your workload, remember the power of focus.

To summarize:

Pick one thing to focus on
Make a plan and stick to it
Take action and see it through
Reflect on your progress
Repeat the process for continued success.

I promise you, creating more time is simpler than you think when you understand how to manage your brain. That’s the missing piece that no one else teaches accountants about time management and it’s your secret weapon if you want to create more time.

Bottom line: Even though there are so many things waiting to distract you, you have to take charge with the higher, Supervising Parent part of your brain to focus even when your Toddler brain doesn’t want you to.

Becoming a Smarter Accountant: Creating More Time

I’ve worked with many accountants on better time management, but let me tell you about one particular client who really turned things around.

This client is a CPA in a mid-sized firm. Before we worked together, she felt like she was drowning in work – between handling client accounts, going to meetings, and dealing with all sorts of other tasks, she was always behind schedule.

She’d end up working late into the night, missing out on time with her family, and feeling totally overwhelmed by everything she had to do. It seemed like she could never catch a break, and she was desperate for a way to get her life back on track.

After working together, she decided to try a new approach to managing her time. Instead of trying to do everything at once, she started by learning a much more effective process for focusing.

I walked her through a simple but powerful process for prioritizing and she made sure to set aside uninterrupted time to work on those tasks. By ignoring emails and phone calls during these focused periods, she was able to get a lot more done in a shorter amount of time.

Suddenly, she found herself finishing her work faster and having more time to spend with her family. She felt like she had her life back, and she was happier and less stressed because of it.

She also learned how to effectively calendar, to prioritize, to handle interruptions, and to set and stick to boundaries. In an incredibly short amount of time, she was able to create more time than she had ever been able to create; but most importantly, without feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

Her story shows that with the right strategies, it’s possible to take control of your time and create more space in your life for the things that matter most. So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by your workload, remember – there’s always a way to create more time when you understand how to manage your brain so that you can better manage your time.

Before I end, don’t forget to go to www.thesmarteraccountant.com/podcast-guide and download the guide. I have questions for you to answer for yourself based on this episode and all the episodes for the past year.

As I tell my coaching clients all the time, “Knowledge isn’t power; applied knowledge is power.” This guide will help you apply the knowledge you get from the podcast.

Well, that’s what I have for you. Thank you for joining me as I discussed the 3 secrets to creating more time. As always, I hope you’ve gained valuable insights and practical tools.

If you are struggling with any aspect of being an accountant, especially when it comes to time management, you can simply go to www.thesmarteraccountant.com/calendar and book a free session with me.

As I tell accountants all the time, you worked hard to become an accountant; it’s time to make it easier to be one. That starts with taking The Smarter Accountant Quiz at www.thesmarteraccountant.com.

You’re going to want to know if you’ve been underutilizing your accountant brain so that you have a starting point for becoming a Smarter Accountant..

Also, I would appreciate it if you could get the word out to other accountants about this podcast. The more accountants find out about it, the more we can begin to change the narrative in the accounting profession.

The truth is that you’re already smart, but this podcast will show you how to be smarter.

Have You Fallen Into Accounting HELL?

Posted on May 23, 2024May 23, 2024 by Dawn Goldberg

Are you constantly stressed, overwhelmed, and feeling like you’re stuck in a never-ending cycle of unproductive habits? Does your workday leave you mentally exhausted, unable to manage your time effectively, and struggling to keep up with your responsibilities?

If so, you’re not alone. Many accountants find themselves trapped in what I call “Accounting HELL.

Today, I want to delve into this concept and offer solutions to help you break free. Inspired by Shari Levitin’s book “Heart and Sell,” which blends brain science with sales much like I do with accounting on this podcast, we’ll explore how you can overcome these challenges.

In the book she explains, “Neuroscientists have discovered a part of the brain they call the “default mode network.” We all have default tendencies to overcome. These are the repetitive or destructive – and usually unconscious – behaviors that prohibit you from taking helpful action.”

As I’ve shared on this podcast, that default mode is the lower, primitive brain, or what I refer to as the Toddler. It’s in charge 80 – 90% of the time without us realizing it.

What the author, Shari Levitin, goes on to explain is that when we are tired, overwhelmed, stressed, or distracted (ie, most of a typical accountant’s day), our default mode takes over. To sum this up, she uses the acronym “HELL.”

In the acronym HELL, H is for Habits, those routines and behaviors we do automatically. They can either help us or hold us back.

For example, sticking to outdated methods or delaying important tasks can affect our productivity and efficiency. This default mode, when it applies to habits, is like the definition of insanity – doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results.

The E in HELL stands for Ego, or that feeling of knowing best. This is a common trap for accountants. Because we’re so smart, we also happen to have very smart excuses or justifications for why we do what we do, which makes it difficult to be open to doing things differently.

For example, many times I speak to accountants who want to argue for their limitations. In other words, they’ve done unhelpful things a certain way for years, but their ego won’t let them give up their old ways, even when I explain a much better way.

The L in HELL is for Lack of Knowledge. Even with all the advanced knowledge and continuing education that we have, we still lack the most important knowledge that no one teaches – how to manage our brains.

For example, every coaching client I’ve ever worked with tells me at the end of The Smarter Accountant 6-week program, “This is life changing. Why wasn’t I taught this sooner? This would have been much more helpful than a lot of the other accounting knowledge I had to learn.”

The final L in HELL is for Laziness. Now, don’t tune me out because as an accountant, I’m sure you work hard and you’re very busy, but you also have to recognize when you’re being busy with the wrong things; when you’re procrastinating or when you’re not managing your time effectively.

For example, if you are working off a to-do list rather than taking a few extra minutes to plan and calendar your time, that’s being lazy. Or if you’re planning your time but not following through on your plan no matter what, that is a lack of focus and commitment, additional signs of laziness.

So, if you have fallen into accounting HELL – having bad habits, letting your ego be in charge, not understanding how to manage your mind, and not being purposeful with your actions and your time – don’t worry, there’s a way out.

Awareness is key. By recognizing these challenges and being honest with yourself, you can climb out of accounting HELL and move towards an easier accounting career.

Now let’s dive into each aspect of accounting HELL.

Breaking Bad Habits

The H in HELL stands for Habits which means you need to consider the things you do automatically, like checking emails as soon as you wake up or leaving important tasks until the last minute. These are habits, and some might be holding you back in your accounting work.

For example, relying solely on to-do lists to manage your workload instead of learning a much more effective way to manage your time. I see this habit all the time with accountants, but once they learn The Smarter Accountant Time Management Program and change this habit, they’re amazed at how much more time they actually have.

Being aware of and breaking bad habits is crucial if you want to have a successful accounting career. The truth is that, if left unaddressed, bad habits lead to more stress, lower productivity, and wasted time and money.

The issue though is that our brain LOVES habits; it loves doing things that are familiar. Why? Because it doesn’t take much effort or mental energy.

That’s why you have to be willing to look at your habits and decide whether they’re helpful or not. Just because you’ve always done things a certain way doesn’t mean that way is useful.

Thankfully, when you break any bad habits, you can work more efficiently, accurately, and happily. Plus, it opens up chances for growth and new ideas.

Letting Go Of Your Ego

The E in HELL stands for Ego, or that inner voice telling us we always know what’s best. It’s a common trap for accountants because, let’s face it, we’re usually pretty smart.

With our intelligence often comes a sense of pride in our abilities, and that can make it hard to admit when there might be a better way to do things. We’re also surrounded by other smart accountants doing similar things so we believe that that’s just the way things are.

For example, believing that busier times like tax season are stressful, working later than you planned, not leaving work at work, procrastinating, having an inbox that’s overflowing, and not being able to set and stick to boundaries. If you can relate to any of these but have normalized them without being willing to learn a better way to handle them, that’s your ego getting in the way.

You may secretly wish things could change and then someone like me comes along and suggests a new approach that could eliminate stress and overwhelm, help you to be more productive, show you how to better manage your time, teach you how to have more confidence, and help you set and stick to boundaries.

Instead of embracing this opportunity for growth, your ego kicks in. You start listing all the reasons why your current method works just fine, ignoring the potential benefits of change.

I’ve seen it time and time again in my conversations with accountants. They’re so attached to their familiar routines and methods that they resist any suggestion of change, even when it’s clear that doing things differently could lead to better outcomes.

So, it’s essential to recognize when our ego is getting in the way and be willing to set it aside for our own good. By being open to new ideas and approaches, we can break free from the constraints of our own egos.

The Most Important Thing You Could Learn

The first L in HELL stands for lack of knowledge. As an accountant, I know you have a lot of knowledge or you wouldn’t be doing the work you do.

However, despite all the studying, training, and continuing education we do as accountants, there’s one thing that should be taught but isn’t: how to manage our own minds.

As I discussed on this podcast, this is the place where brain science meets accounting. If you haven’t already listened to episode #2, I suggest you go back and listen to it or relisten to it because what I explain is that we spend years in school, learning about debits and credits, tax laws, and financial reporting, but along the way, nobody teaches us how to have an easier accounting career.

For example, when an accountant takes The Smarter Accountant Quiz and discovers the ways that they’ve been underutilizing their accountant brain, they come to me, trying to figure out how to address their issues. They’ve often been an accountant for years and have never seen a way to have the accounting career they secretly want but haven’t been willing to admit.

Thankfully, once they’re willing to learn how to manage their minds, they realize that this knowledge would’ve been way more helpful early on in their career. They discover that when they learn how to manage their minds, they’re able to manage everything else.

I’ve worked with employees, entrepreneurs, partners, and firm owners and they all say the same thing, “Why aren’t we taught this sooner?” I tell them, that’s why I wrote my book “The Smarter Accountant” because no one is teaching what I teach in any classroom, CPA exam prep course, or CPE seminar.

The hard truth is that if you want to get out of accounting HELL, you have to be willing to learn how to manage your mind. When you do that, you’ll be able to have an easier and more sustainable accounting career.

Overcoming Laziness

The final L in HELL is for Laziness. As I said before, I’m not saying you don’t work hard or that you’re not busy all the time. But what I am saying is that there are many ways to be lazy without realizing it.

For example, as accountants, we’re often juggling many tasks and responsibilities. However, being busy doesn’t always mean being productive.

In fact, if you constantly think you’re busy or tell others how busy you are, you’re actually slowing down your productivity. How? Because believing that you’re busy creates feelings like stress, overwhelm, and pressure.

Think about the last time you thought about how busy you are – how did that thought make you feel? It probably made you feel stressed, overwhelmed, or under pressure.

And what happens when you feel stressed, overwhelmed, or under pressure? Unproductive actions like not managing your time effectively, not prioritizing, procrastinating, working on easier things, checking email even when it’s not the scheduled time to check it, and complaining.

Another common sign of laziness that I see with us as accountants is making plans but not sticking to them. The truth is that we love the idea of a good plan, but when it comes to following through on the plan no matter what, that’s when we fall short.

For example, maybe you set aside time for specific tasks but find yourself getting distracted or putting things off. This lack of focus and commitment will hold you back from reaching your goals and getting things done efficiently.

So, while it’s natural to feel busy and overwhelmed at times as an accountant, it’s essential to be mindful of how effective you are with your time. By avoiding procrastination, staying focused on your priorities, and being willing to learn a more effective way to manage your time, you can overcome laziness and have an easier accounting career.

Becoming a Smarter Accountant: Getting Out Of HELL

So here’s what I hope you get out of this episode – in order to have an easier accounting career you have to give something up. What are you willing to give up? Let me share how a few clients recognized that they had fallen into accounting HELL and what they were willing to give up so they could get out.

One of my clients is a CPA who always waits until the end of the week to reconcile accounts, often resulting in a rush to meet deadlines and increased stress. She was frustrated with this habit, but didn’t know how to get out of it.

After working together, she recognized when her brain had become attached to that unhelpful habit and she decided to give up waiting until the last minute. Instead, she decided to override the old habit by committing to a new routine of reconciling accounts daily.

At first, her brain was not on board, but she just kept noticing the urge to do it the old, unhelpful way, and instead chose to feel motivated to do things this new way. She couldn’t believe how much less stressed she felt and how her week went much more smoothly.

Another client worked in a mid-sized firm and was hesitant to ask questions during team meetings, afraid that it would make him look incompetent in front of his colleagues. His ego wouldn’t let him appear to not know something, but he also struggled with getting the answers he needed when he wasn’t willing to ask questions.

He decided to not give into the part of his ego that resisted asking questions. Instead, he chose to think that asking questions was a sign of strength, not weakness.

He noticed when he had the urge to not ask a question and instead began actively seeking clarification when needed. He even had team members come up to him after meetings and thank him for asking the questions that they were unable or unwilling to ask.

One client came to me because she was struggling with a few things like stress, time management, productivity, imposter syndrome, and setting boundaries. She said she hesitated reaching out for help because she felt like she was such a hot mess.

By being willing to learn one simple thing – how to manage her mind – she was able to feel so much more in control. All of a sudden, she was more focused, her time management and productivity improved dramatically, she was building self-confidence, and she was able to set and stick to boundaries, professionally and personally.

She confessed that she had been considering leaving the accounting profession before we worked together because she just didn’t see how it was possible to have the career she wanted. Now she’s looking forward to what else is possible.

The last client I want to share with you is a partner in a firm but had gotten to the point where he wanted to create an exit strategy because what he had created professionally was unsustainable. He had taught his clients to believe that he would jump whenever they said jump, he worked way more hours than he wanted, and his time with his family wasn’t pleasant because he was either tired or in a bad mood.

Here’s what he discovered after working together: he was so used to blaming circumstances like the workload, the clients, and the time of year, that he wasn’t owning his part in his current situation. He had become complacent and reactive instead of proactive and willing to do things differently.

After letting go of his blame mentality, he learned how much control he had over the sustainability of his career and his practice. He began setting better boundaries, letting go of notoriously difficult clients, managing his time more effectively, and taking ownership of his actions.

Although he still plans on retiring at some point, there’s less pressure to do it sooner rather than later.

Bottom line: whatever reason you may have for falling into accounting HELL, just know that you can get out whenever you want.

Well, that’s what I have for you. Thank you for joining me as I discussed whether you’ve fallen into accounting HELL or not. As always, I hope you’ve gained valuable insights and practical tools.

If you are struggling with any aspect of being an accountant, you can simply go to www.thesmarteraccountant.com/calendar and book a free session with me.

You’re going to want to know if you’ve been underutilizing your accountant brain so that you have a starting point for becoming a Smarter Accountant..

The truth is that you’re already smart, but this podcast will show you how to be smarter.

Asking Better Questions

Posted on May 16, 2024May 16, 2024 by Dawn Goldberg

Today I want to talk about asking better questions because I’ve been seeing this issue a lot with my coaching clients lately. This is important because the questions we ask ourselves not only shape our individual experiences but also influence our professional and personal lives.

As a CPA and a Professional Certified Coach for accountants, I’ve witnessed firsthand how the quality of questions impacts decision-making, time management, problem-solving, and overall effectiveness. Basically, the questions we ask affect how we feel which then affects what we do or don’t do.

For example, let’s say you wake up, your brain clicks into gear, and the questions start flooding in. “Why is it so early?” “What do I have to do today?” “Why do I feel so tired?” Sound familiar?

Here’s the problem: most of those questions are pretty lousy. They’re like those annoying pop-up ads that clutter your screen when you’re trying to look up something – distracting, unhelpful, and downright irritating.

We all know that questions are essential. They’re how we navigate the world, make decisions, and understand ourselves and others. But here’s the thing: not all questions are created equal.

Think about it: when you ask yourself a question, you’re basically sending your brain on a mission to find an answer. In fact, your brain is like a Google search bar.

But depending on the quality of that question, your brain’s going to come back with either a helpful or unhelpful answer.

In other words, most of us ask dead-end, unhelpful questions like “Why is this so hard?” or “Why can’t I figure this out?”

On the flip side, you’ve got more empowering questions like “How can I make this easier?” or “What can I learn from this?”

See the difference? It’s like asking yourself whether you want a good day or a bad day. One type of question is going to leave you feeling overwhelmed, while the other is going to leave you feeling in control.

So, why does it matter, especially for accountants? Well, again, the questions we ask ourselves then shape our thoughts, our emotions, and our actions.

When we get stuck in a cycle of dead-end questions, it’s like we’re just spinning our wheels in the mud. But when we start asking ourselves powerful questions, that’s when things change for the better.

I know you might be thinking that asking powerful questions isn’t always easy. You probably don’t even realize that you’re asking dead-end, unhelpful questions, let alone being able to switch to more powerful questions.

But trust me, it’s worth the effort.

The truth is that every question is a choice, and every thought is a choice. And when you choose to ask yourself better questions, you get better answers which lead to better feelings, actions and results.

Bottom line: if you want great answers, ask great questions.

Dead-End Questions

Whether you’re dealing with tricky tax laws, planning how to make your business grow, or just handling your everyday tasks, asking the right questions is key. When we get better at empowering questions, we give ourselves a big advantage.

When we make asking better questions a habit, we make it possible to create better results.

So let’s get clear on dead-end versus powerful questions by starting with dead-end questions.

First, dead-end questions have a knack for negativity. They focus on what’s going wrong rather than envisioning what could go right.

For example, when’s the last time you asked yourself something like, “Why is this so hard?” This question sets a dismal tone, and sets your brain on a mission to find why things are so hard.

Your brain doesn’t care that you feel horrible after asking yourself, “Why is this so hard?” It’s only job is to answer the question and show you why something is so hard.

The second thing about dead-end questions is that they don’t dig deep. They just stick to the surface of the problem, like skating over thin ice.

For example, asking, “Why can’t I ever catch a break?” doesn’t really get to the root of the issue. It’s like trying to fix a leaky faucet without figuring out where the leak is coming from.

Third, dead-end questions can be really narrow-minded. They stop us from looking for new ideas and solutions, like putting blinders on a horse.

For example, asking, “Why should I bother trying?” already assumes that we’ll fail, so we don’t even give ourselves a chance to think about how things could get better. It’s like saying, “I give up” before we even start.

Here are some examples of dead-end questions that you’ll want to pay attention to:

Why can’t I start?

Why can’t I finish?

Why am I so busy?

Why do I always feel like this?

Why did I do this to myself?

Why did they do this to me?

Why can’t I get it together?

Why can’t they get it together?

Why can’t someone else do this?

Why is this happening to me?

Why is my life so hard?

Why haven’t I learned this yet?

What’s wrong with me?

What did I do to deserve this?

What will they think of me?

When is it going to get better?

Why can’t he/she _______?

As you can see, these questions are going to lead to disempowering answers. Their inherent negativity is going to result in negative, unhelpful answers.

Powerful Questions

Now, let’s talk about powerful questions. These are like switching on the light in a dark room.

First off, powerful questions are all about looking on the bright side. They turn problems into chances to learn and grow.

For example, instead of thinking, “Why am I always making mistakes?,” you might ask yourself, “What can I learn from this mistake?” It’s like flipping a switch from feeling down to feeling curious or determined.

Second, powerful questions really get to the bottom of things. They make us think about what’s going on, again, like shining a flashlight into a dark room.

For example, asking yourself, “How can I handle this problem in a new way?” makes you stop and think about your options. It’s like opening a door to fresh ideas and ways to solve problems.

Thirdly, powerful questions are all about being open to new ideas. They encourage us to be curious and explore different ways of thinking.

For example, asking yourself, “What else could I try that I haven’t thought of before?” pushes you to think outside the box and stay open to new opportunities. It’s like walking down a different hallway with doors that open to new possibilities you might not have considered.

Here are some examples of powerful questions that you may want to choose:

How do I want to feel?

What do I need to believe to feel the way I want to feel?

How can I take more responsibility for what I think, feel, and do?

How can I make this easier?

How can I get this done in less time?

How can I create what I want?

How can I make this more fun?

How can I delegate this?

What can I do to reach my goal?

What’s my next best step?

What am I grateful for?

What’s great about this?

As you can see, these questions are going to lead to much more empowering answers. That Google search bar in your brain is going to look for answers that are helpful and productive.

So, hopefully you now can see how important the questions we ask ourselves really are. When we ask the right questions, it can totally change how we think and what we do.

By swapping out those negative questions for better ones, we can start seeing things in a whole new light.

Incorporating Powerful Questions

Now that you know the difference between dead-end and powerful questions, how can you tell if you’re asking yourself a dead-end question or a powerful question?

Here are some things to consider:

Is there a positive belief built into your question?

Does your question feel good or encourage you to evolve beyond your comfort zone?

Does your question empower you to take responsibility?

Does your question inspire you to take action?

Does your question generate insight?

Does your question open your mind?

Does your question help you discern what’s going on?

Does your question allow for appreciation and compassion?

The truth is that whenever there’s something that’s not working for you in your professional or personal life, it’s time to find the primary dead-end question that’s getting in the way. But just know that it might feel uncomfortable at first.

If you’ve been asking yourself the same dead-end questions, that’s what your brain is familiar with. That’s become your default.

And it’s important to understand that your brain loves default thoughts or questions, even if they’re unhelpful. Your lower, primitive brain, the part that’s running your life 80 – 90% of the time doesn’t care that dead-end questions lead to unhelpful answers.

Using a Powerful Question To Have An Easier Accounting Career

For example, I’ve been in public accounting for over 30 years and for decades I would ask myself, “Why is tax season so hard?” Year after year, I would ask the same question, “Why is tax season so hard?”

But then I learned about how my brain works and could see what that repetitive question was creating for me. What it created was constantly feeling stressed which caused me to complain, spin in my head, not manage my time effectively, not be able to get more done in less time, and ultimately resulting in tax season being hard….again!

Once I realized how unhelpful that question was, “Why is tax season so hard,” I was able to switch it to “How can I make tax season easier?” At first my brain was resistant because it was used to looking for proof for why tax season was so hard, but I just kept asking the powerful question, “How can I make tax season easier?”

And when I asked that question I felt curious which then led me to do a time audit, look at what was working and what wasn’t, look for things I hadn’t considered before, helped me to stop complaining, stop spinning in my head, manage my time more effectively, get more done in less time, and have an easier tax season.

Here’s the thing – as you become better at asking powerful questions, you’ll start to reap the rewards of high-quality answers. I like to think of it as upgrading from basic cable to a premium streaming service – suddenly, you have access to a wealth of information and insights that were previously out of reach.

By challenging yourself to ask better questions, you open the door to new perspectives and possibilities.

And don’t forget about encouraging your clients to ask powerful questions instead of dead-end questions. As an accountant, you have a unique opportunity to guide others toward greater clarity and understanding.

By modeling the practice of asking powerful questions yourself, you set an example for your clients or colleagues to follow.

For example, when you’re talking with clients or colleagues, either offer them a powerful question or ask them to think carefully and look at things from different angles. Encourage them to question their assumptions.

By creating a feeling of curiosity for those around you, you help others feel more sure of themselves and come up with creative solutions to their problems.

Even if you’re not in public accounting, dealing with tax season, and asking “Why is tax season so hard?” you can deal with any difficult situation by asking an empowering question like, “How can I make this easier?” You’ll be amazed at what your brain can come up with.

So, hopefully you can see that incorporating powerful questions into your day offers you a chance to create better results. It allows your brain to get to work giving you high-quality answers that lead to you taking high-quality action.

Becoming a Smarter Accountant: Accountants Asking Better Questions

Now let me share how a few clients learned how to ask better questions and what happened when they did.

Before discovering the power of asking better questions, one of my coaching clients found herself feeling overwhelmed with her workload and struggling to keep up with client demands. Her typical dead-end questions were, “Why is there never enough time to get everything done?” or “Why do I always feel behind?”

These default, dead-end questions only reinforced feelings of frustration and helplessness, leaving her stuck and unable to effectively manage her time and her workload.

After working together, she decided to change her approach and started asking herself more powerful questions. Instead of dwelling on her frustrations, she asked herself, “How is it possible to get everything done with the time I have?” and “How can I get more done in less time?”

This shift in questioning helped her to effectively prioritize, not give into distractions, and focus. As a result, she was able to get more done in less time and feel much more in control of her time and her workload.

Another coaching client often struggled to find creative solutions to his clients’ financial and tax challenges and frequently doubted his abilities. When faced with a difficult problem, his default question was, “Why can’t I figure this out?”

This dead-end question made him feel self-doubt and inadequate. This then led to him spinning in his mind, questioning his abilities, and avoiding tackling the problem.

Thankfully, once he learned how to catch his dead-end questions and ask himself more powerful questions, he was able to find solutions he hadn’t thought of before. Instead of asking, “Why can’t I figure this out?” he chose to ask, “What can I do to figure this out?”

He was amazed how this shift in his questions helped him to take action like seeking out additional training, collaborating with colleagues, and asking his client better questions in order to get to the root of the problem. As a result, he gained confidence and impressed his client with his approach.

In both examples, embracing the concept of powerful questions enabled my coaching clients to move beyond dead-end questions and instead ask better questions so that they could find better answers.

The bottom line: if you want to take effective action, you need to ask better questions.

Well, that’s what I have for you. Thank you for joining me as I discussed the concept of asking better questions. As always, I hope you’ve gained valuable insights and practical tools.

If you are struggling with any aspect of being an accountant, you can simply go to www.thesmarteraccountant.com/calendar and book a free session with me.

You’re going to want to know if you’ve been underutilizing your accountant brain so that you have a starting point for becoming a Smarter Accountant..

The truth is that you’re already smart, but this podcast will show you how to be smarter.

Who’s In Your Room?

Posted on May 9, 2024May 10, 2024 by Dawn Goldberg

Today I want to talk about something that might seem a bit unconventional for our line of work but trust me, it’s crucial for our success – who is taking up space in our minds. You know, people from our past and the people we interact with day in and day out.

They all play a significant role in shaping our accounting careers, whether we realize it or not.

The reason this came up is because I had read this incredible book called “Who’s In Your Room” by Ivan Misner, Stewart Emery, and Rick Sapio, and let me tell you, it’s been a game-changer. At first, I was a bit skeptical, thinking, “What does a book about a room have to do with being an accountant?”

But as I began reading it, I realized just how relevant and impactful its message is for us as accountants.

Think about it – our professional success isn’t just about balancing debits and credits or the reports we generate. It’s also heavily influenced by the people we surround ourselves with, mentally and physically – our clients, colleagues, mentors, and even the occasional networking contact.

Each interaction and relationship shapes our professional journey in ways we might not even be aware of.

So, what exactly does “Who’s In Your Room” mean? Let me share how they describe the book on Amazon – “Who’s in Your Room? introduces you to the concept of your life being like a room—a room where anyone who enters affects your life . . . forever.

Although this concept may sound frightening, this book gives you the tools and exercises you need to take control of your room and live the life you desire. This book brings in experts to describe how people leave you with memories that cannot be erased but can be managed.

You manage them by determining what’s really important to you, and then you can determine how to spend your time and whom you should be spending it with. Stop living according to everyone else’s rules.

Shape your life by taking control of your room. Live your life by your design!”

That’s Amazon’s description, but basically, imagine your life is a room, and everyone you’ve ever met is in your room. You’ve got supportive and reliable people and you’ve got the ones who drain your energy, cause unnecessary drama, and clutter your space.

The key is – no one ever leaves your room; ever. Every person you’ve ever met is still in your room, so the key is that you’re going to want to make sure you’re designating where everyone is allowed to be in your room.

Are they allowed to be up close, whispering in your ear on a daily basis, or are they sent to the back of the room? Who are you allowing to influence you? Whose voice is the loudest? Who occupies your mental energy?

Understanding who’s currently in your room – and more importantly, who you’re now going to let in – is one of the keys to creating a successful and sustainable accounting career. It’s about being intentional with our relationships, setting boundaries, and surrounding ourselves with people who uplift and inspire us.

Why is this important? Because the truth is, our success as accountants isn’t just about our technical skills. Our ability to do what we need to do hinges on how we feel; and how we feel is dependent on how we think.

That’s why it’s incredibly important to understand that you have over 60,000 thoughts a day that are influenced by the people in your room. Your ability to communicate effectively, manage your time, build trust with clients, and navigate the complexities of being a trusted professional are all directly influenced by those 60,000 thoughts a day.

That’s where the wisdom of “Who’s In Your Room” comes in. It’s not just a self-help book – it’s a practical guide to cultivating a personal and professional circle that supports and empowers us.

Keep listening because addressing the question, “Who’s In Your Room?” is going to be more impactful than you might realize.

Understanding Your “Room”

First off, let’s talk about your “room” as an accountant. When you think of your room, you’re probably thinking of your office space, but when the book talks about your “room,” it’s talking about your life, your interactions, and your memories.

The people in your “room” are the people you interact with every day, but also the people you’ve come in contact with professionally or personally, dead or alive, in person or people you’ve never met. For example, it could be famous people you’ve never met or the person who cut in front of you on the checkout line.

If you’ve interacted with, in one form or another, or thought about a person, they’re in your room.

As far as being an accountant, there are probably a lot of people in your room related to your career. For example, for me, that ranges from the 10th grade bookkeeping teacher who told me that accounting might be a great career to the Tax Partner at Deloitte that treated me badly 25 years ago.

They’re all in my room.

For you, your parents, friends, siblings, teachers, bosses, coworkers, clients and colleagues are there. In fact, everyone you’ve ever worked for or with is in your room. Your biggest supporters and your toughest competition are all there.

Now, here’s where it gets interesting – the impact of these individuals on your success. Believe it or not, the people you surround yourself with, mentally and physically, can have a huge influence on your professional journey.

Think about it – a supportive client can become a loyal advocate, referring you to their friends and colleagues. A helpful colleague can make your job a whole lot easier, while a toxic one can make it feel like you’re swimming against the tide.

And mentors or coaches can be like guiding lights, showing you the way and helping you avoid the pitfalls along the path to success.

So, bottom line – understanding who’s in your room, where they’re standing in the room, and how they’re impacting you is incredibly important. It’s about being intentional with your relationships, setting boundaries when necessary, and surrounding yourself with people who lift you up.

Because when it comes down to it, having the right people in the right places in your room can make all the difference in the world.

Evaluating Your Professional Relationships

First things first – let’s take a good hard look at the quality of your connections – your clients, your colleagues, and those industry contacts you’ve collected over the years.

Are these relationships adding value to your life and your career? Are they helping you grow and thrive, or are they just taking up space in your mental “room”?

Now, here’s the tricky part – toxic relationships. We all have them, whether we like to admit it or not. These are the connections that drain our energy, create unnecessary drama, and hold us back from reaching our full potential.

It might be that client who’s always demanding more but never willing to pay for it. Or that colleague who’s constantly throwing shade and making us doubt ourselves.

Whatever the case, toxic relationships can seriously affect our professional growth if we let them. But the beauty of the “Who’s in your room?” concept is that you get to put those toxic people in the back of the room.

In fact, when I picture my room, I imagine a roped-off VIP section where a very large bouncer, probably my husband, is standing guard, only letting certain people to come sit and talk with me. The bouncer puts up a large, muscled arm and tells the toxic people they’re not allowed to get any closer.

That imagery helps to deal with the mental aspect of these negative people, but what can you do if these people aren’t going away from you physically, any time soon? It’s all about setting boundaries, communicating effectively, and knowing when it’s time to cut ties if necessary.

But just know that those people are always going to be in your room whether you like it or not. They just don’t have to be within earshot when you decide to put them in the back of the room.

Just make sure that you’re surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people who lift you up. Those are the people who should be allowed to be closest to you in your room.

The bottom line is that it’s time to detach as much as possible from the energy drainers, to nurture the good relationships, and to create a professional circle that truly supports our growth and success.

Designing and Organizing Your “Room”

Alright, now let’s talk about designing and organizing your room – not the physical space, but the space where your professional and personal life unfolds, where every person who has entered or will enter leaves their mark.

Now, I get it – the idea of your life being like a room might sound a bit strange or intimidating at first. After all, it means that every interaction, every relationship, every moment shapes the landscape of your life in ways that can’t be undone.

But here’s the thing – that’s also where the power lies.

“Who’s in Your Room?” isn’t just about accepting that your life is influenced by others. It’s about taking back control of your mental space and designing it in a way that reflects who you truly are and what you truly want.

How do you do that? Here are some actionable steps you can take:

Reflection and Assessment: Take some time to reflect on your current “room.” Think about the people who are currently in your life – your clients, colleagues, friends, and family. Consider how each person impacts your life, both positively and negatively. Assess whether these relationships align with your values and goals. Who’s closest to you in your room that shouldn’t be?

Identify Your Priorities: Determine what’s truly important to you. What are your values, goals, and aspirations? What kind of life do you want to create for yourself? By clarifying your priorities, you’ll have a clearer vision of the type of relationships and experiences you want in your life.

Set Boundaries: Establish boundaries to protect your time, energy, and well-being. This might involve saying no to activities or relationships that drain you or don’t align with your priorities. Boundaries help you create space for the people and activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

Curate Your Circle: Once you’ve identified your priorities and set boundaries, it’s time to curate your circle. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, who share your values and goals, and who contribute positively to your growth and well-being. This might involve cultivating new relationships and nurturing existing ones. It could also mean listening to certain authors or podcasts like this one that help you grow personally and professionally.

Be Selective: Remember, everyone you’ve ever come in contact with is in your room. But besides having a bouncer to keep people away from your VIP section, you also have a doorman at the entrance to your room who decides who can come in from now on. So, learn to be more selective based on who you already have in your room, who’s helpful and uplifting, and who you’d like to bring in from now on. Again, no one ever leaves the room, so be selective about who gets close up and personal access to you. Whose voices do you want to be whispering in your ear? Who needs to be muzzled?

Regular Reflection and Adjustment: Your “room” isn’t static – it’s constantly evolving as you grow and change. That’s why it’s important to regularly reflect on your relationships and experiences, and adjust accordingly. Be willing to let go of relationships that no longer serve you and have them moved to the back of the room. Then invite new ones that align with who you are becoming and what’s important to you.

By following these steps, you can design a room that reflects who you are and supports the life you want to create. Remember, you have the power to design and organize your room, so make sure your room is set up in a way that the people that bring you joy, fulfillment, and success are up close and the naysayers have to sit in the back dark corner.

Before I tell you about a few clients who have used this concept, let me ask you a question – who’s rooms are you in? Who are you having an impact on?

People enter your room and you enter theirs. Are you entering rooms you truly want to be in? Are you being your best, authentic self in the rooms you want to be in? Just something to consider.

Becoming a Smarter Accountant: Being Clear About “Who’s In Your Room”

Now let me share how a few clients have been using the “Who’s In Your Room?” concept for themselves.

One client works for a large firm, and found herself constantly stressed and overwhelmed by the demands of her clients and colleagues. She felt like she was always trying to please everyone but never had time to focus on her own work and professional development.

Once I introduced her to the “Who’s In Your Room?” concept, she realized that she had been allowing the voices of demanding clients and critical colleagues to dominate her mind. She was thinking about them even when she was at home, never feeling like she left work at work.

She decided to prioritize the voices of her supportive mentors like me, her encouraging colleagues, and appreciative clients. By repositioning these people and their voices in her room, she reduced her stress levels and began to have an easier career.

Another client works for a mid-sized firm, and struggled with low self-esteem and self-doubt in his personal life. He often found himself comparing himself to others and felt like he didn’t measure up.

After focusing on the “Who’s In Your Room?” concept, he realized that he had been allowing the voices of his critical parents and judgmental friends to be front and center for too long.

Once he got clear about where these people should now be in the room of his mind, he decided to prioritize the voices of his supportive wife and encouraging friends. He also decided to set some boundaries with the people he’d been letting negatively influence him.

By repositioning these voices in his room, he was able to feel much more confident. And once he started feeling confident, he noticed how much more selective he was about who he spent time with in his room.

Hopefully these client’s stories and the “Who’s in your room?” concept is something you can relate to. The truth is that, although no one ever leaves the room of your mind, you do have the power to position each person in a way that honors what’s in your best interest.

Well, that’s what I have for you. Thank you for joining me as I discussed the “Who’s in your room?” concept. I hope you’ve gained valuable insights and practical tools.

If you are struggling with any aspect of being an accountant, you can simply go to www.thesmarteraccountant.com/calendar and book a free session with me.

And make sure you check back each week as I help you go from being a stressed accountant to a Smarter Accountant.

Make sure you go to www.thesmarteraccountant.com and take The Smarter Accountant Quiz. You’re going to want to know if you’ve been underutilizing your accountant brain so that you have a starting point for becoming a Smarter Accountant.

The truth is that you’re already smart, but this podcast will show you how to be smarter.

How To Handle Other People’s Opinions

Posted on May 2, 2024May 10, 2024 by Dawn Goldberg

Today, I want to talk about something that affects us all: handling other people’s opinions. This topic is important because, let’s face it, we’re constantly bombarded with what others think, whether it’s about us or everything around us.

Think about it: whether it’s a client questioning your expertise or a friend criticizing your career choices, everyone has opinions and sometimes they can really get under your skin. But here’s the thing – knowing how to handle other people’s opinions can make all the difference in how we feel and how we navigate our professional and personal lives.

In today’s world, where social media fills every corner of our lives, opinions are everywhere. Whether it’s a viral meme or a serious political debate, it feels like everyone has something to add.

And as the old saying goes, “Opinions are like… well, you know.” It’s true, isn’t it? Nowadays, it feels like everyone’s got an opinion, and unfortunately, they’re often pretty negative.

Whether it’s a snarky comment on your latest LinkedIn post or a political sign on your neighbor’s lawn, it’s hard not to feel overwhelmed when our opinion differs and we feel attacked or defensive. It’s like we’re constantly dodging verbal bullets in a never-ending opinion war.

Of course it’s important to be able to speak your mind and have your own likes and dislikes. But lately, it seems like everyone’s opinions aren’t just sparking friendly debates – they’re causing major rifts.

Kids are getting bullied, teens are feeling isolated, and adults are even breaking off relationships, all because of what someone else thinks. It’s like opinions have become weapons, leaving us feeling more divided than ever.

The truth is that opinions are also like fingerprints – no two are exactly alike. And just as, for example, we wouldn’t expect every client’s financial situation to be identical, we can’t expect everyone to share the same thoughts and beliefs that we have.

As accountants, we understand the importance of considering multiple viewpoints and weighing options before making informed decisions. So why should handling other people’s opinions be any different?

Well today I want to discuss what I call “opinion management”, helping you to understand the psychology behind why we care so much about what others think, and practical tips for maintaining your sanity in the face of other people’s opinions.

Handling Other People’s Opinions of You

Let’s start by dealing with what others think about you. We’ve all heard the saying, “What you think of me is none of my business,” but let’s face it – it’s easier said than done.

In today’s world, where social media rules and everyone’s got a platform to share their thoughts, handling other people’s opinions can feel like a nasty game of dodgeball.

It’s like everything about us – from our appearance and choices to our actions and inactions – is under a microscope, waiting to be judged by anyone and everyone. And let’s not forget about our own opinions on everything under the sun – they’re fair game for criticism too.

Let’s be honest, it’s hard not to let other people’s opinions get to us. After all, we’re only human, and nobody likes feeling judged or criticized.

But here’s the thing – just because someone has an opinion about us doesn’t mean it’s true or valid. The truth is that people see us through their own lenses, colored by their experiences, biases, and insecurities. So why let their perspective dictate how we feel about ourselves?

Sure, it’s easier said than done, but learning to brush off other people’s opinions and stay true to ourselves is key. After all, we’re the ones living our lives, not them.

I also think it’s a common struggle among many accountants to feel the pressure to mold ourselves into what we think others want us to be. It’s like we’re constantly walking on eggshells, afraid of stepping out of line and facing disapproval.

Think about it: have you ever held back from pursuing your dreams because you were worried about what others might think? When I decided I wanted to write my book, it took me a while to get the courage to tell people about it because I was afraid that others would think it was crazy; I’m an accountant, not an author.

Plus, I had the opinion of my eleventh grade English teacher still in my head. He once told me it was a good thing I was going to study accounting because I wasn’t very good at writing.

His opinion was still swirling around in my brain 40 years later! Pretty amazing, right?

What about you? Where have other people’s opinions of you held you back? Maybe you didn’t go after that promotion because you were afraid of failing in front of your colleagues. Or you might have hesitated to voice your ideas during a meeting because you didn’t want to rock the boat.

I recently had an HR issue at work and hesitated speaking up because I was worried what my coworkers would think if I did. I finally decided that being true to myself was more important than the negative opinions others might have about me.

Your Brain’s Role In Handling Other People’s Opinions Of You

But it’s a tricky cycle to break free from. Especially when our brain is wired with a tribe mentality and is constantly seeking validation from others.

In fact, not being accepted by the tribe is life-threatening to our primitive brain. If you think about it, when humans lived in caves, being ostracized from the tribe meant certain death, and that primitive part of our brain is still running our lives 80 – 90% of the time.

Unfortunately, when we seek validation from others to feel confident in ourselves, we end up sacrificing what’s true for us. Sometimes we play it safe, staying within the confines of what we think others expect of us, rather than taking risks and pursuing what truly lights us up.

And it’s not just the big decisions that are affected. Even the smallest choices, like trying a different haircut or rooting for a particular sports team, can keep us from taking action out of a fear of judgment from others.

The interesting thing is that most of the time, the opinions we’re so worried about are just our perception, not factual. In other words, we assume that others will disapprove of us, even when there’s no evidence to support that belief.

One of my favorite quotes on this subject is by Dita Von Teese: “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” I love this quote because it explains that no matter how good or accomplished you are, there will always be someone who criticizes or dislikes you, and that’s okay.

The main reason I wanted to do this episode is because I think we all need to break free from this cycle of seeking approval and validation from others. How? By beginning to trust ourselves and our abilities more.

When you realize that your own opinion of yourself matters more than what others think of you, that’s when you truly feel liberated. You’re able to let people have their own thoughts about you without feeling the need to prove them wrong or change their minds.

An analogy I like to use with my coaching clients is if someone said they don’t like your blue hair and you don’t have blue hair, you wouldn’t give it a second thought. Their opinion would just be a passing comment, not something that defines who you are.

On that note, my mentor taught me the saying, “I love letting people be wrong about me.” I love this thought because it sets me free from trying to change people’s opinions of me.

The bottom line is that the key to handling other people’s opinions of you is to value your own opinion of yourself more than theirs. In other words, what you think of you is the only business you need to focus on.

Handling Other People’s Opinions of Everything Else

Now that I’ve shared how to handle other people’s opinions of you, let’s dive into handling other people’s opinions of everything else. You know that saying, “No two minds think alike”? Well it’s absolutely true, but can often be frustrating.

The analogy I like to use with my coaching clients who are struggling with other people’s opinions is to imagine you’re in a room with ten other people, and there’s a blue chair sitting in the middle. The question is, how many chairs are in the room?

It sounds like a silly question, but it’s actually not. The answer is ten. How? Because if you ask each person to describe the chair, you’ll get ten different answers.

Some might love the color, others might find it tacky. Some might think it’s comfy, while others find it too stiff. It’s like everyone’s wearing their own unique pair of glasses, tinted by their personal experiences and preferences about that chair.

The truth is that we can all look at the same person, situation, or thing, and have completely different perspectives. From politics to parenting choices, everyone has a human brain that has a lot of opinions.

Unfortunately, instead of celebrating this diversity of perspectives, it often leads to arguments and rifts between friends, family, and even strangers.

It’s like we’re all looking at the same picture, but seeing completely different things. And those differences in opinion can drive a wedge between us, making it harder to find common ground and come together.

Curiosity Instead Of Condemnation

We’re often so focused on proving ourselves right that we forget to step back and truly understand where others are coming from. My recommendation for my clients is to come from a place of curiosity instead of condemnation.

It sounds great, but how do you do that? I suggest you come up with at least 3 reasons why someone might have the opinion they have.

Just like people on a debate team need to be able to present arguments from both sides of an issue and be able to articulate the opposing viewpoints, it’s helpful to ask yourself what could someone who has a differing opinion be thinking and feeling?

For example, I was speaking to a coworker who has very strong political views and she was sharing that she had had a big disagreement with a friend with an opposing view. She said she was considering ending the friendship, since this person was “clearly crazy” based on their disagreement.

When I asked her to come up with 3 reasons why he may have the opinion he has, imagining what he might be thinking and feeling that would make that opinion possible, she visibly relaxed. She said, “I imagine he loves this country as much as I do, that he was raised to believe a certain way, and that he feels comfortable enough with me to express his opinion”.

Her brain, like all of ours, just wanted to be right, which meant that if someone’s opinion didn’t match hers, they were wrong. Thankfully, with a little imagination, she was able to step into her friend’s brain and envision what he might be thinking when he looked at the same “blue chair” in the room.

So, the next time you encounter someone with a different opinion, try to see things from their point of view. Imagine what thoughts might be shaping their beliefs and how those beliefs influence their actions.

It’s about finding their perspective interesting rather than dismissing it as “crazy” or “wrong.” It’s a small shift in mindset that can lead to greater understanding and harmony in our interactions with others.

Becoming a Smarter Accountant: Effectively Handling Other People’s Opinions

Now let me share how various clients have handled other people’s opinions about them and everything else.

One of my coaching clients worked at a large firm. She often found herself second-guessing her decisions, seeking validation from her colleagues, and was afraid to voice her opinions during team meetings, fearing judgment and criticism.

After working together to become a Smarter Accountant, she learned how to trust her own expertise and handle differing opinions without making it mean she was wrong. She began speaking up more confidently in meetings and was surprised to find that her colleagues respected her insights, even when they disagreed.

Another client had always prided himself on his attention to detail and analytical skills. However, when he was promoted to manager in his mid-sized firm, he struggled with delegating tasks and receiving feedback from his team members.

He often took criticism personally and became defensive when others questioned his decisions. He shared that he often felt attacked when someone’s opinion was different from his.

Once we worked together, he realized that he needed to separate his professional identity from others’ opinions of his work. He learned to listen to constructive feedback without feeling threatened and used it as an opportunity for growth and improvement.

And one of my other clients decided she wanted a career change and to start her own consulting business. While it was a dream come true, she faced skepticism and discouragement from friends and family who doubted her ability to succeed as an entrepreneur.

We talked a lot about where the naysayers might be coming from, whether it was their own unmet dreams, honest concern for her well-being, or jealousy. Once she understood that other people’s opinions were about them and not her ability to succeed, she was determined to make it work.

As she went through The Smarter Accountant Program and was able to successfully handle other people’s opinions, she built a successful consulting practice.

Hopefully these client’s stories can give you a better idea of the fact that we all struggle with other people’s opinions, but that you can do something so that it doesn’t derail your efforts or your career. The truth is that when you feel confident and show up authentically, other people’s opinions of you and everything else are interesting, but not a problem.

Well, that’s what I have for you. Thank you for joining me as I discussed how to handle other people’s opinions. I hope you’ve gained valuable insights and practical tools.

If you are struggling with any aspect of being an accountant, you can simply go to www.thesmarteraccountant.com/calendar and book a free session with me.

And make sure you check back each week as I help you go from being a stressed accountant to a Smarter Accountant.

The truth is that you’re already smart, but this podcast will show you how to be smarter.